back thinspo

so i was able to find some back thinspo thieres not much out there which sucks cause i love backs but here is what i found











yesterday i had my lil cousins for awhile i had 2 out of the 3 of them the older one started preschool and then she and her dad were gonna have some daddy daugther time and go to chuck e cheese god i havent been to that place in foreve ri wanna b a kid again and go and play
but neway ihad the 2 boys an dmy sis was home for schoolt oo for thanksgiving and she was so funny caus she hasnt seen them in like amonth and just there mannerisms and everything cracked her up but she had a great time and shes the only one who can get the one to nap when me and my mom are just home he wont nap but when my sis is home he will lay down on her andnap crazy
but yeah it was fun i got to c mycuddle bug and my wibble wobble yes nicknames i love nicknames

i had work yesterday as well they asked me to stay later i said i could stay an extra hour but had to leave after that and they said that was fine i ended up staying hour and 20 minutes longer cause i was helping someone and i couldnt just leave while i was helping her.
they wanted me to switch my black friday shift as well cause the one regulat employee cant/doesnt wanna work her shift im doing 10-7 and shes doing 3-11pm and they wanted me to do the 3-11pm but i told them i coudlnt i know thats prob mean and wrong but i dont wanna work that late and it say on my application that i cant work past 7 on fridays its theonly day i cant work past 7 so o well they didnt seem to mad and i stayed later that day so yeah i can b flexible just not on fridays hopefully they understand that.

but since i stayed later got a 30 minutes break and i went to walk around the mall just once b4 i sat down for the rest of my break and yeahi found out that subway closed it was the healthiest place at the mall and its no closed now all we have is pizza place and chinese so no eating mall food for me i really like subway u can get veggie sandwhich there ugh damn mall but i will just have to bring my own food from now on my 5 hour shifts i dont bring nehting with me ijsut eat b4 i go in but on my lik e9 hour sfits ima bring some food prob a salaf or fruit bowl cause i get tired from constatnly walking around i burn a good amount of cals but i get dizzy and tired and stuff

food log for yesterday

breakfast
*3 egg whites
*english muffin

lunch
*bag frozen green beans
*few honey wheat pretzels

dinner
* tomato herb soup
*mango
*few honey wheat pretzels

snack
*dinner roll

so far today i just had some dry bran flakes and an english muffin
its thanksgiving and my mom is cookiing for the first time in years so ima just have alil of what she makes wel i cant have the rolls or the potatos cause of the dairy in them but ima have a lil turkey and make myself a backed potato and then have some veggies
she also got some apple pie as well so i'll have alil piece of that as well

well im off to shower straighten my hair, do crunches and watch the game(yes im sure u dont know what im talking bout but here my town and the next town over have this huge tday game tradition 104 years straight. they are rivals like big rivals and dontplay in nomral seaosn because of the seperate states but every thanksgiving they play a game they play it at the local college stadium cause it sells out every year. and they paly it on tv so ima watch that since im not going this year.

love u all stay tsrong
have a great thanksgiving

11/23/10

wow 200 followers damn i never thought that many ppl would read about my boring life but wow im so happy yay thank u all for following

sorry ididnt updtae yesterday i was completley dead to the world an di layed around alot and just tried not to move yes i was that tired idid take my mom to the grocery story but besides that ijust layed in bed alot yesterday

had work 2day i love wokring i love being busy and having things to do i love being able to leave thse hosue cause really i have to now cause of work so yes i love my job even though im completely spent by the tiem i get home and my feet hurt and my body hurts but i love it.

worked 2-7 2day got another 2-7 shift tomm and then black friday 10-7. we all have to wear the same shirt friday and they only had larges left the girl is like aww hunny im sorry its gonna b so big on u but do something fun with it so i was thinking long sleeve shirt then the shirt we have to wear with a belt arount it then a skirt leggings and im debathing on convers or boots and high socks or no high socks need opion there guys.

but i love all the ppl that i work with we area ll crazy and insane and outgoing and i love it. i totally forgot to take my break cause i was juts working an di didnt pay attention so i was demanded to take my 15 with like 45 min of my shift left os ijsut sat in the back dirnking my water talking to another coworker while she ate her dinner it was nice to get to know her.

i havent gotten tot he gym at all this week and idk if i will tomm i have 2 out of the 3 couins in the morinng and then work in afternoon. the older one as school yes she started school so we just got the 2 lil boys that will b a workout and then being on my feet at work that will b a far share amount of cals burned. ima c if the gym is open on tdat if it is i will go in the moring cause i wont get there firday i gotta work and i'll b exhausted after so yeah. but tomm i get to learn the register yay i wont b running around like a crazy person for a lil while i get trained on it :)

i took mom to walmrt today cause she needed to get a few things and while i was there i decided to pick up a few things i got hair ties, and 2 different types of clips and always tic tacs a gossip mag and a book( thirst number 1 by christopher pike)

i still need to get hair dye but i didnt get it today cause idk when ima ahve time to dye my hair i need time cause i like to do my hair 2 different colors so yeah i will do it eventually though and when i do i will post pics promise

food log

breakfast
*low sugar oatmeal-120
*2 slices wheat toast-180

lunch
*grilled chiken salad(lettuce, 1 hard boiled egg no yolk, kosher pickle, croutons, cherry tomaots, grilled chicken, italin dressing)

dinner
*tomato herb soup-90
*brown rice single serve cup-230

drinks
*mug green tea
*2 liters of water

exercse
*over 15,000 steps taken(pedometer on at work)- 416 cals burned

ima have a snack soon ish i just dk what it is yet

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skinny_el-omg yes its so exhausting but hey so worth it

mich-def not the only wacko trust me on that one

dolcecaramel- its water mix so check in that section target and walmart also have them as well

bellaana-i got my pedometer at target

11/21/10

wow am i tired had my first shift at work today and having those 3 months with out and then doing a 5 hour shift is so tiring. my throat hurts from talkng the hole time im tired from constantly being on my feet. but i loved it i really like working there and all the ppl are just so nice. i baiscally spent the hole time just walking around folding clothes and organizing didnt get trained on register yet. but i can tell ima like the job already. im waiting for my shceudle to get emailed to me for i know when i work again. but just working there for those 5 hours burned 315 cals according tomy pedometer watch.

i have decided b4 my shifts that ima have a good meal for i have energy and then after iw ill have something small like soup or salad or soemthing. and i wont take ne pills b4 i go in either the pills will b taken after. ithink that will work out good.

mom deicded that she wanted to make me lunch b4 work so she made my some fries and 4 chicken nuggets in the oven it tasted good and im sure that i burned off most of it i know didnt burn off all but i def burnt off most at least half or more. idk that exact cals of the food.

ive been up since 2am i ended up crashing at 7pm sat nite and then woke up at 2am. once a week i just crash my body gets so tired from barely sleeping all week that by the time sat comes im wiped out and i end up sleeping like close to 8 miles and then i feel like shit cause im not use to sleeping that much. so yeah ive been up since 2am now.

the boy came over after the bar fora lil so i got to c him took him home at 6am and theni had a small scoop ice cream. at 10am had an apple at 12pm few pretzels then around 1230pm had the lunch mom cooked me and just now i ate a cup of tomato salsa soup, small salad and a few chips. think it was a pretty good day.

so gonna relax teh rest of the nite and read and watch tv

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frozen beautiful- nope i dont live in pa i live in new jersey righton the border of pa and jersey though so im in pa alot but yeah lehigh is in pa

lilah lee-ha my blog was in ur dream reallyt hats weird and also funny yes no more eating ur roomates junk

acka11-dont give up keep applying everywehre even if its just seasonal work u cant give up some1 will call u u just gotta keep trying and yeah i pracutally live off of fruit i dont like much food

mich-haha yeah 9 earrings they just go all the way up and god i love the pain for piercings but its to quick at least the pain with the tattoo last longer :) i like pain

nee-yay for us thas great we are both working now

dolce caramel-yeah they do one packet is 10 cals so i split it into 2 bottles so 5 cals per bottle they are really yummy

11/19/10

outfit



weight 101.4 bmi-16.9

had my orientatin for my new job today i basically spent almost hour and half filling out paperwork all those stupid tax forms and then watched the video. but i can pretty much wear nething i want which is a good thing and i asked about my earrings cause i have 9 holes in each ear and she said piercings jewelry and tattoos are fine cause they all have them so yay i dont have to take themout and i can wear my braclets to hide my self harm scars on my wrist. i start on sunday though work 1:30pm-6:30pm and i would get 1 15 minute break in that time if i work longer then 5 hours then its 1 15 and 1 30 min break and if u work all day u get an hour break and a few others i think im really gonna like it there she said she wants to get me trained for i can hopefully work register for black friday im a quick learner so that shoudlnt b a problem. but i will let u know how sunday goes though when that time comes.

took my mom to the bank and grocery store this morning b4 i had to go to the orientation she bought me a jar of pickles yay go mom i love pickles. but ive been dressed since 730 this morning and on the go since 11 well i took mom out at 830 but that doesnt really count cause i came home and relaxed a lil b4 heading out to the mall

but after the mall i went to target and shoprite to get the things i needed since i now have money i can get my things and not have to depend on my mom to buy it for me that was killing me

so at target got:
*3 vitamin water 0
*3 sobe lifewater 0
*crystal light drink mix green tea peach mango
*lipton green tea decaf tea bags
*celestial true blueberry tea bags
*flinstone sour gummy vitamins
*unbearable lightness by portia de rossi(i coudlnt help myself i had to have it)

shoprite
*pinapple
*cashews
*3 del monte 100 cal fruit cups( 2 blueberry 1 mixed berry)
*2 bags bella romaine lettuce
*salt free rice cakes
*cherry tomaotes
*old london croutons(dairy free)
*2 boxes maple brown sugar low sugar oatmeal
*tropicana light mixed berry juice(10 cals per serving)
* 3 mangos
*bag of green apples

so im all good with food for awhile so i shoudlnt have to go next week unless i run out of fruit it depends on how much of it i eat.
but i got the rice cakes to bring towork with me those will b my snack on breaks and the oatmeal will b my breakfast or my meal right b4 i go in it gives me energy and keeps me full

going to the lehigh university wrestling match with the boy tonite soima relax alil since ive been runnign aorund like a crazy person all day so its relax and read time b4 i have to get up and fixed my hair and eye makeup

food log so far
*130 cals worth of promgrante lemonade juice
*cashews(ate a few tomany it started to hurt my chest)
*liter of water
*mugh of decaf green tea

love u all

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sarah- i love broccoli as well but green beans are my fav

happiness is ont he outside-im glad that ur getting help and im always here for uhun just remember that ok yeah mom doesnt even bother me when i hide i tell herim having a hiding day and shes just like ok whatever gotta love that

dolcecaramel-yeahi m scared my kids are gonna end up being fuckedup like me as well but i will love them regardless and just try adn raise them right im sorry that ur havinga tough time but im always here for u hun

believe and thin_envy-thanx both of u and uw ill get down that low evenutally just stay strong

11/18/10

wow am i tired so this will just b a quick update
i had my lil cousins today they are such a handful if i dont have the almost 3month old in my arms im runnning and playing after the other 2 had them from 10-3 2day and i was constantly on the go the only time i got a break was the lil half hour nap i took with my cuddle bug i love cuddle up with him him just laying on my ches so warm and soft o i want a baby someday i cant wait to b a mom in the future

but neway lets c we went outside for alil but it was chilly so we didnt stay out long. me and munchin did puzzle i ran after her brother alot an dits always up and down up and down hes alil wibble wobble kept tripping over hes own 2 feet but yeah idk we did alot more as well but it was all just a tiring blur or funiness might i add i hate spongebob and we watched like almost 2 hours of it cause they just love it so much that show is so stupid

i have to get up and get my room cleaned upand theni have to repaint my nails and do my crunches then ima just relax and read and watch tv for the rest of the nite im beat

o and we donthave ne heat in the house fucking house thank god we still have hot water though fo ri could take a hotshower in the morning but dad has to fix the furnace and who knows when he is gonna do that but im lucky i got aliol space heater in myroom so that will keep me warm but i was freezingthe hole time downstairs

scale said 101.8 this morning i hope its even less tomm morning. it prob would of been less this morning but my heart and chest were really bothering me last nite and when its that bad i gotta eat soemthing so at likie 1130 at nie have 1 small scoop frozen yogurt and 1 home made cookie they helped my heart but made my chest hurt so much from the dairy i didnt get sick though i can eat dairy in very lil doses and its just chest pains but if i eat to much of it then my head is stuck inthe toilet and i have no desire to c the inside of the toilet ne time soon.

i was downstairs making my oatmeal this morning and oms like almost 5 batches of cookies and tis almost gone already im like momits not me i can only eat 1 if i eat more i get sick shes like iknow its not u its me and ur father they alwasy complain about eating to much and shes wants to lose weight but then she makes cookies and brownies o geez mom wonder y ur gaining and not losing hmm guess there ass fuck ugh

food log
*low sugar maple and brown sugar oatmeal
*pretzels(sncked on while wathcing the kids)
*few bites waffle( the middle one was sharing it with me no butter of syrup though thank god)
*6 small tootsie rolls
*bag of frozen broccolli
*small scoop frozen yogurt

drinks
* 2 mugs tea
*2 liters water

im not planning on eating nething else today but we will c how my heart is

tomm ihave the orientatin ting for my new job so gotta go in fill out paperwork and watch the video
and then after that ima go to shoprite and get me soem safe food
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jessica-i dont dowell wihtout working i need stuff to keep me busy i hope u find one

bellaana-yeah im not good at the hole flaunting thing ilike my hiding im good at hiding

helen-thanx hun

frozen beautiful-aw wow idont hink my blog is that interesting but thanx hun if u even wanna eamil me its danirkt@hotmail.com

becky- im 5'5 wait did u get a job too or the not feeling well thing?

broken- i cant eat salt im not suppose to high cholestol and blood pressure its bad for me toeat salt

anna, nee and mich-thanx guys

thin_envy-yeah i know its the only good thing about working retial is ur constatnly busy no time to eat and ur right u get to c skinny girls and it makes it easier to not eat but m y town is full of fat scumbags ugh but still. yeah i know its hard to come by i have a hard time finding it as well and i love reading ur blog

beskinny- i know right i like jumped up and down :)

happiness in on the outside- dude i never hide form my email or my computer or the internet im always online as u can tell when i hide i mean hide in my room dont leave it done leave the house i could never hide from my computer yes old navy shoudl b a good job and in easy one i'll b in organizing heaven

11/17/10

so guess waht lovely ppl we got osme good news for once in my god damn life :) i got a call today from old navy rembmer i had my interview on monday well they called today and said i got the jump fuck yeah go me i rock im the best :) im so damn happy u have no idea this past 3 months of being unemployed as been driving me crazy but now i got a job and soemthing to look forward too and i will have money omg fuck yeah :)

so i goin friday at 11am to fill out the new hire paperwork and watch the video she said about 2 hours for that. and thens eh would tell me when i really start for i can get my training and everything.

i ran down the steps and nearly feel to tell my omo shes like ur running in guessing its good news i also hit the lamp too ha well its not a lamp its the light fixutre in the hallway that is old as fuck but really nice but i wacked it with my hands but neway
i got a job heheh happy dance every one





im having a hiding day today its not on purpose i just wasnt feeling well when i woke up this morning. im really shaky and my legs are weak and tired and my heart is bugging me, its hard to concentrate more then nomral andmy teeth really hurt.
so im hiding today in my room well i took my momout this morning she needed to get football tickets for the big tday game for my bro and sis so i took her to get that and got gas in my car as well.

but spending the rest of the day hiding in my room. ima prob repaint my nails, watch tv(oc is on right now) and read and i def will do crunches idk if iw ill run in place htough since im not feeling so great.

i nearly feel down the steps when i ran down them cause im just so weak
but the scale said 102.6 this morning well after my shower 2 apples some jello water adn tea so i hope that im smaller then that

i will have my offical weigh in friday and get the real number
so food log so far
*2 apples-120
*sf jello-20
*peppermint tea
*water

im planning on making a huge salad for lunch and then having 2 apples for dinner i might try some frozen yougrt later or many some pretzels idk we will c
but love u all

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ce-thanx and i know red robin is amzing isnt it

lou-thats the first time ne cashier has done that to me an di have bought alot of diet pills and stuff thruout the years

sarah-thanx hun i guess my luck is finally turning

deseperee demaigir- my sotmach is acutally doing better surprisnlgy but ive been staying awawy from the things that make me sick so thats prob helping

11/15/10

i had my interview at old navy today heres the outfit that i wore. its a dress over a long sleeve grey shirt and grey leggings with flats




so the interview went good in my opnion that is the 2 girls that interview me were nice really crazy and they go off on tangents on vampires ha they were talking about true blood and they love to read i love to read too and i love vampires so its a goo dmatch if u ask me but neway the first question she asked me was so tell me about urself and yeah i didnt do well on that one im like ummm yeah idk shes like its an open question r u in school i told her i wasnt that i have my associates in accoutning shes like yeah thats a hrad market to get into im lie yeahi know i cant find a job in it. but she asked what i like to do when im not working i said that i loved to read i always have a book with me shes like what do u read im like nething i will read nething shes like we love vampires around here im like thats my go to i love sci fi fantasy aboce all elsethey they went off on their true blood tangent lol it was funny. i ecplained my old job which was hard cause idid so many different things at once and she explained the job i would b doing its like cashier,helping customers, dressing room al the stuff im like im fine with that. we went over hours she said it would mostly b days til like 5 or 6 im like im good with that on the app i put that i coudlnt pwrk late on fridays shes asked how late an di would of said 3 but i though that would decrease my chances of getting the jobs so i said 7 at the latest ( iknow friday is date nite but we never go out b4 7 neway). they asked weird questions. um one was what is ur biggest accomplishtmen i said graduationg college cause i wasnt palnning on going at first that i took a year off and it took me time but i finally did it and graduated. another was fashion like style its hard to explain my style but i said i love to layer nething colors patterns i just love layers and i love old fashion shes like old fashin like waht decade im like 20'30's she like flappers in like yes. they asked like commitments and how woudl u hanlde this and that and some things i never had to deal with but i basically said that im a hard worker if i say ima do something then ima do it i get my work done i dont push it off on neone else and im really good at mutlitasking trust me if they saw me at me old job they would of seen then i can mutli tasklike no other. but the interview went good she kept saying great excellent an di was a lil ackward but hey im an ackward person but i smiled alot and laughed with them and i talk with my hands alot gotta love teh italin in me. but she said they ahve a few more interviews but she wouldletme know by the end of the week. i hope that i mad ea good impression and ihope that they liked me i really need a job and iw ould b good working there i love to prganize and keep things clean and lord knows i can work a cash register. so i just gotta try adn stay postive and hope that i get it.

after i decided to walk the mall al il to get alil more exercise in so i took my ipd out and put in out and walked around the mall 3 times now my mall isnt big but hey its something and i stopped and used my last couple dollars to get myself a drink otuof the vending maching i got a sobr fuju apple cranberry drink hole bottle 15 cals and it taste good so i made a good choice. after the mall i went ot walmart i needed to restock my stock i hate walmart with a passion but target doesnt hav ea good diet pill selection so my stock is all filled now as u can c i got 2 mags, box of laxs, box of fat burners, and 2 boxes of diuretics. wihle i was checking out the cashier guy is like this all for u im like no buying it for some1 and he acutallly carded me i never get carded and idont understand y he had to ask that like nosey much well app he is very nosey.




im getting sick well a cold at least i hope it doesnt turn intot a full blown sickness my nose is stuffy and running, my head is cloudy and i get random headaches. my throat is sore. and to top it all off i think that my wisdom teeth are coming it they hurt an di feel pooking ugh c i never got them out i have had alot of mouth work done but i have never got them out they never caused an issues and since i havent been tothe dentist in 6 years yeah. c guys ive had alot of mouth work i had braces of 8 years i had allm y baby teeth pulled cause they woudlnt fall out i have had mouth surgry and i have also had them attach chains to teeth and have them pulled to a different spot in my mouth now can u c y i haven tbeen tot he dentist in 6 years once i go tmy braces off i was done i coulndt handle going there nemore. i take care of my teeth i brush thema ll the time to make suer thye saty good an di know my purging isnt good for my teeth but thats one thing that will awlays b there with me but i havent purged in nearly 2 weeks yay go me :).

i hav e anew plan well sorta its just for dinner right now see i hate going downstairs to get dinnerwhenmy dad is home lie u guys know i think i takled about it b4 so i suallly waited til 1130pm and then went down and got food cause he would b in bed by then well yeah i got tired of eating late at nite so today i deicded every morning or afternoon i would cut up some fruit adn buy it inmy fridge upstairs for i can eat that at dinner time. itihnk its a good idea :) and right now ima have oatmeal for breakfst and prob soup and salad for lunch. it worked goor for me today well so far at least

so far today i had had bowl low sugar oatmeal, i fun size pull and peal twizzler, 1 bite brownie, cup tomato salsa soup, salad(lettuce 6 pickle chips 3 baby carrots), liter of water, cup of green tea with promgarnte, cup of chicken broth, bottle sobe fuji apple cranberry.

i cut up 2 apples earlier for dinner so i will ahve those and mayb some jello and also some more water as well
my head is really starting to hurt so i should prob take some meds soon.

went tot he gym today i wanted to go early but my bro spent an hour and half in the damn bathroom this moring so i had to wait til he got out but i still got a good workout in neway did 65 min on elly level 5(450) then 18 mins steppy level4(74). then the 3 laps i did around the mall i didnt have my watch on so idk how many cals that burned.

sorry i didnt update yesterday i was feeling really tired an di just couldnt concentrate.
but date nite was on sat last week so we went to red robin well first we watched the flyers game together and then we went to red robin i had apple harvest salald no cheese dressing on the side. also he got extra fries so i could have some and for the appy he always ordrs mozzy sticks but i cant eat those nemore so instead he got appy combo mozzy sitcks and onion rings i had 3 onion rings dipped in campfire mayo, i dippe dmy fries in maraiina sauce i also gotta b dipping my fries and stuff i now im werid u can tell me that.

but i got a lecture on how i bring my sicknesson myself thati eat things i shoudl b eating so it makes me sick i told him that idi cut ouot everything i cant eat then u woudl get mad cause it wouldnt b much food i can eat.
i got a lecture on how i shoudlnt b eating candy or fries imonly allowed to eat fries with him on fridays and teh candy he said is really bad for my teeth
now i know that i shoudl b eating that stuff i know that but when some1 tells me i shouldnt eat it i rebel and eat it ima rebel i hate rules they are meant to b broken.
and i hate driving at nite and he always makes me drive when we go out and he know si hate it panick when i drive my chest hurts but i can drive and ive never beenin an accident i just freak out when i drive now im fine driving during the day and im ok driving at nite when im in town but as soon as im driving somehwere were idk wher i am going or if its nite time and imd not in town its bad hes like u really dont like driving at nite hes liek it scares u im like yes it does i panick u know that heslike y si it scary im like idk its dark and i cant c and the headlights and i dont like it in all tense driving at nite and i tap my finger constantly he tries to keep me calm but when i make a mistake i get a lecture.

now guys hes not contorlling trust me on that hes just really opinoated and i love him i lovehim more then myself and if wasnt for him iw ould b dead already so dont hate on him to much ok

ok ima go read all the ur grea blogts and get caught up
love ua ll

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believe-c ivenever beent hat high adn 102 is high forme but dont worry i will b careufl im not gonna ocmpletely stop eating again i wont it nearly killed me last time so yeah tankx hun

anorexic medic-aw thanx hun yeah its to much sugar thoguh tis giving me headaches but thank u and i know did it healthy stuff as well so that helps

mich-thanx love god bk is evil i hate it and i dont liek eating it but its all we have in town an dwhen we dont feellike driving to pa thats what we eat and yes we will b 95 by xmas ur closer then me though jealous

happiness in on the outside-wow u got out of it lucky i wish i coudl get out of it expcet small town we dont have many options im always here for u hun u know that for support or just to talk

sarah-yeah i do alot fo ab work im addcited and yes start out slow thats all u can do and u can work urself up to more

courtney-thank u love c i dont feel like an inspiration or thinspirtional or nething like that but thank u hunny stay strong