3/1/12

Hey everyone sorry that I haven't updated in awhile I get lost in my life and my head u know how it has when things get rough and ur head just takes over yeah that's where I was

I got a 3rd job one that actually has moving up potential excited it's on one of the hospitals in town the good hospital it has a few campuses in the area I'll b at the newest one it's just part time right now but I'll b doing environmental services I'll b cleaning the OR, ER, and patient rooms it's 3-1130pm. I just had my physical on Monday it was a long day. I had to explain stuff like my anxiety and depression tell them what I was taking and I was seeing a doc for it. Had to explain my bad headaches, my back spasms, IBS, my knee issues, my food allergies, my chest pain, how I'm suck right now. It was a lot if explaining but she passed me cause I explained it all. She even passed me with the spine test age could feel my ribs thru my back but she passed me anyway. I lied in the history of eating disorder question cause I really need this job and once I'm there 3 months I can get insurance and start getting help for it. She did my blood pressure it was normal for once 122/62 or something like that. Took my pulse too it was 80 idk if that's normal or not. But after all that and my vision test had to go get blood work and I urine drug test. They took 7 tubes of blood from me apparently they test for a lot damn I had a headache for awhile after that and I was sleepy for days. I'm just scared that something is going to show up on there u know how I get paranoid. But damn I had to do so much paperwork and had to get finger printed as well it was a fucking long day and then I have orientation on Monday from 745am-430 yes long ass day it's a lot if work to get a hospital job but that's what I need

I've been extra tired and weak lately. My period is being funny it came on Monday the cramps were so bad and it was like bright red but extemely light it even stopped for awhile during the day it was lil heavier Tuesday not much avd cramps were bad again but it's been light and stop and go since got it Wednesday idk what to even think idk y its being like this I'm on the pill

Anyway I'm 98 lbs right kept it. At a steady weight for like 2 weeks it's hard as fuck and u decided that I'm cutting out junk mostly choc I've been eating to much if it and u hate how I feel so I'm cutting it out and I haven't been to the gym in over a month I don't have time or I'm sick or I can't pay the payment I'm canceling it after march I just can't afford it right now

Today I have off from both jobs and I'm not babysitting my crazy but adorable cousins had all 3 of them yesterday man did they tire me out but it was fun so it's all good. But today I'm going to relax for a lil cleanup my messy room and try to get a work it in in my room

Love u all hope ur doing well