Wednesday, October 28, 2009


yeah so ive beens ucking lately and fauling miserable ugh i know im horrible im back up to 100 lbs ew its gross i know and i hate it i gotta get my control back no matter what i cant just eat to eat only eat when i have to ugh

so i had blood work done 2day it was for my cholestrol im just praying they cant detect nething that involes ana in it cause i got enough ppl watching me i dont need ne more but i go to the docs on wed to find out the results so i gotta a week :)

hopefully i can lose weight b4 then i can trick the scale pretty easily i just wanna get to my first gw already like who though getting to 95 lbs would b so damn hard god damnit ugh

but neway im done ranting now i think lol

Friday, October 23, 2009


so after i posted the blog last nite i kinda fucked up and ate like 800 more cals i know i suck nand im worthless and fat and huge and just everything ugh i suck i hate it

and today is force feed dani friday the force feeding starts at dinner time im so not loking forward to it ugh wtf

so far today i had half an apple(25) and jello(80)

i also wrote new rules but i dont have time to post them rightnow i will post them later ths wkd though

Thursday, October 22, 2009



2 bubbillion cubes- 10 cals
3 oz veggies- 25 cals

snacks( spread out thru out the day)
ice cream cone- 140 cals
1/2 cup popcorn- 12 cals
1 saltine- 12 cals

lime jello- 40 cals
4 pieces of candy corn- 32 cals
7 jelly beans- 28 cals

5 bottles of water- 0 cals

total cals consumed- 299 cals

9,371 steps taken- 240 cals burned
i also had my li cousing today so we played for a while so the total cals i burned isnt accurate cause i havent figured out how many cals i burned playing with her

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


so i had a mia moment last nite fyi purging pizza is gross and im never doing that again ew but neway today was liquid fasting day i did really good im proud of myself

3 bottles of water-0 cals
4 cups coffe (one with normal sugar thank my boss for that)- 25 cals
mango mini protein shake- 300 cals

total cals consumed0 325

7,562 steps taken- 190 cals burned
65 minutes walking on tready hill workout- 242 cals burned

total cals burned- 432 cals burned

Monday, October 19, 2009


fruit mix(grapes, pinapple, cantalope, honeydew)- 75 cals
8 pieces of candy corn- 80 cals

fruit mix( grapes, cantalope, honeydew,apple)-100
1 piece candy corn and 2 jelly beans- 8 cals

1 cup popcorn- 35 cals

noodles- 200 cals
3 oz veggies( broccolli, carrots, calliflowe)- 25

3 pints water- 0 cals
2 cups black coffee- 0 cals
enviga- 5 cals

total cals consumed- 528 cals

over 12,000 steps taken- 322 cals burned
65 mins on elly- 522 cals burned
65 mins on bike-395 cals burned
30 mins walking on treadmill- 97 cals burned

total cals burned- 1,336

ok i watched oth tonite god it was so good i love that show now im off to do crunches and watch gossip girl even though im so confused casue i didnt watch the hole second season but its :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009


apple w/ cinnamon and caramel- 65 cals

jello- 80 cals

chicken broth- 20 cals
3 oz of veggies- 25 cals

4 bottles of water- 0 cals
enviga( cal burning drink)-5 cals

total cals consumed- 195

8,802 steps taken- 221 cals burned
65 minutes elly- 501 cals burned
45 minutes ike- 301 cals burned

total cals burned- 1,023

today was a very good day im proud of myself. iv ebeen freezing all day the damn temp here was like a high of 38 degress insane i know. it snowed a lil too well it was more likea rain snow mix but still its only october wow. well im off to do my crunches and try to get warm

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


o i decided that i needed to fast today :) so i have had no food none what so ever im feeling sick though so i think a cold is coming damn ugh i hate being sick it always makes me eat more when im sick hate it

so i had 3 cups of coffee today adn 2 bottles of water so far going good :)

Monday, October 12, 2009


so i had a major breakdown this wkd like really bad i have so many cuts its insane i didnt even realize that i cut that much but both my arms are totally fucked up with cuts and my upper right thigh is even worse and still bleeding a lil. but i had a fight with my boyfriend he practically told me i wasnt pretty and not good enough then ihad a fight with my friend just a horrible wkd godi was doing so good not cutting well that all ended now

slimfast meal bar cookie dough- 220 cals

apple- 80 cals

soup- 120 cals
18 jelly beans- 72 cals

bottle and half of water- 0 cals
2 cups black coffee- 0 cals
enviga drink(cal burning)- 5 cals

total cals consumed- 497

8.860 steps taken- 226 cals burned
65 mins on elly- 497 cals burned
45 min on bike- 286 cals burned

total cals burned- 1,009 cals burned

i won b able to go to the gym tomm which sucks ugh so ima only eat 300 cals tomma nd walk and clean at work as much as i can

well im off to finish watching one tree hill( love that show) then gonna listen to the new paramore cd again( if u havent heard it buy itnow amaizng) and then do crunches

i should clean my cut again get them to stop bleeding

Saturday, October 10, 2009


so today was going really good and then i ended up [ruging i cant tell u what the cal intake i am at cause i dont remember what i ate b4 i purge i know breakfast was apple w/caramel(100) cals
but i dint purge that up i purged my lunch i know i had broccolli, crackers and cheese i just dont know how much of each i had but i purged it up trust me all of that is out cause i ended up spitting blood at the end so its all gone yay now ijust wish that my puffy eyes would go down already i purged over 2 and half hours ago

well this is the exercise i have down so far
8,595 steps taken-216 cals burned
vaccummed car 8 minutes- 15 cals burned
cleaned car 2 hours- 275 cals burned

total cals burned so far- 506 cals

i still got tons of crunches to do and i gotta clean my room yet

Tuesday, October 6, 2009



2 small apples with cinnamon- 50 cals

2 small apples with caramel- 100 cals

dinner(eating it now)
oatmeal- 120 cals
1 small apple- 25 cals

1 cup black coffee- 0 cals
1 20 fl oz bottle of water-0 cals
1 700 ml bottle of water- 0 cals

total cals consumed- 295 cals


8,595 steps taken- 213 cals burned
65 minutes on elly- 480 cals burned

total cals burned- 693 cals burned

time to do crunches when im done eating :)

Monday, October 5, 2009

goal weights

ok i know i havent been around for a few days but ive been busy, and weak, and passing out, and purging but u know it happens :) but here are my goal weights

GW1-95 lbs
GW2- 90 lbs
ima have to maintain 90lbs for a lil while just for i dont get like sent away or nething
GW3-85 lbs
GW4- 80 lbs
then maintain that for a while

my ultimate goal weight is 70 lbs and im determined to get there :)