rant

hey guys so this is just gonna b a rant cause im pissed the fuck off and i just need to vent to get it off my fucking chest ugh

ok here it goes so i have this ana friend, im not gonna mention names, but neway i met this friend on pt and we really hit it off we even exchanged numbers and we use to txt all the time. and i mean all the time everyday all day so that was fine for a while. and then a few months ago she decided that she wanted to recover and i supported her i told her it would b hard but i would support her no matter what but i always told her that if would prob b better if she didnt talk to me cause i wasnt gonna recover and i didnt wanna hinder hers. but she decided that she still wanted to talk to me and still b friends so i was like ok and that was going well for while but then she was getting all pissy and bossy saying that i should recover that icant do it that i just wasnt trying hard enough. i told her that i had no intention what so ever to recover netime soon ana is m life and will always b my life. well then she goes well im dont with this fucking selfish lifestyle dont talk to me ever again. so im like fine good luck and i let it go at that. well we didnt alk for mayb a month or so idk im just gueesin here but she txted me said that she was relasping well i wasnt having ne of that so i told her off cause theres no way she was gonna fucking talk to me like that and get away wit me so she didnt relapse but then she txted me a few weeks that and said that she was sorry and she didnt wanna get better nemore so i took her back and we went back to the way we use to b talking all the time but things were still weird so then i wasnt here from here for awhile and she wasnt answeing my txts i txted her on thanksgiving and nuttin so i txted her 2 days later and her sis answered saying what she died 2 days ago that her haeart exploded. i was fucking devasted and then i was thinking wait things dont add up cause she was on pt the day b4 and the mutal friend of ours said she was on facebook well long story short i found out last nite that she really isnt dead that she faked the hole fucking thing. needless to say im fucking pissed off how selfish can u fucking me to fake ur own death like really are u that much of a fucking attention whore that u need to fake ur own death to feel better about urself im fuckng down with her im down i cant fucking deal it fucking ridc so i ended up having mini binge last nite cause i was pissed but the plan was to go to the gym thismorning and work it off but the fucking weather had different opinion and it snowed an di couldnt go but i had so much built up frustration that need out. so i ended cutting yes i self harm and no i dont plan on stopping so dont tell me its bad i know that but i like the release so im not gonna stop but neway i cut my arms sat so i coudlnt do it there again cause there werent healed yet so i decided to do my ribs i felt so better after. the hurt now cause everytime i move it pulls at the cuts but it was worth it

well thanks for listening to my rant and sorry it was long and i swear alot dont mean to offend neone but i needed to get that out ugh srslywouldnt u guys b pissed as all fuck as well

well tomm im planning on a gym visit i need a work out and im on my period which sucks so i feel even more fat then normal ugh

ima go do crunches and watch tv love u all and thanx for listening