Tuesday, October 11, 2011


ive meant to update bu tmy compute access is really limited now ugh i suually go on my bros every morning from teh time he goes to work til i go or if i dont have work im on all day but the assfuck quit is job cause hes a loser and a pain in my ass so yeah no cpmputer time much at all i can get ont eh downstairs one to check email but not to blog of get on my sites cause my family doesnt beleive in privacy when ur downstaris it sucks so fucking much but im on now fo ra lil while a least and i tried to get updated onsome of ur blogs im sure i missed osme im sorry but ihave to get my bros computer back to him soon and i wanted to get a post up and research a lil and mayb try and get updated on some of the fanfics i read that i havent been able to sicne i dont have a fucking ass damn computer ugh

but neway had my doc appt today adn surprisngly it acutally went well u guys know me docs and me just never ever for the life of me never get alone or arguee or enthing ugh but i had a good one today yay go me

i tried a new doc at my family doc the one iwas seeing acutally left so i wanted to try th enew guy i dont like the other ones there neway and this guy is form st lukes hospital and guess waht i like him hes nice really nice hes younger he listens he explains things he tells u hes opinion on things he ask me questions and it seems like he really does care he didnt even mak eme sit on the table witht he stupid paper he did and i got to sit on the chair score the only bad this was he was running late which makes me more anxious and shit but it was ok hes nice and i know what to expect now

but the weighed me in flats, dress pants, bra(ugh yes had to wear one interview that day) tank top, dreey top and a thin fleece jacket adn the scale said 103( 2 lbs lower then week and half ago at gastro doc appt) so idk am i hundred or am i acuatlly in double digits again. but they took my blood pressure too like they alwasy do expect they didnt tell me the numbers like the alwasy do and for the first time they took my pulse too so idk what was up with that and they made me take off my jacket i was freezing and of course my sacrs were turning purple but they didnt say nething about that

but hey came in and looked at y chart talke dbout how many tests i have had done lately hes like wow uve ben poked alot im like yeah i did to many tests hes like from what it loooks like ur healthy like healthy and my cholestrol went down no more cholestrol meds for now yay

he said he doesnt wanna treat the fibromylagia yet cuase he wants to start out with the anxiety and dpression and then go from there and i dont blame him eh really thinks that that is causing alot o fmy issues he said it will take time to find meds and the right combo of meds that will work for me right but he was so considearte asked bout insurnace my insurance doesnt cover prescritions so i need generic so he had to consider that right now and he did cause there are meds that he was thinking about(lexapro, lyrica) that are just brand names right now but will b generic in a few months he started me out on an ssri at first he explained the reason its the one he likes the most the one with the least side effects adn the easiest one to get off of if i need to get off of it so i go back ina month and we will c how im doing from there he said to stay on it stick it out if the side effects are too bad to call him lik eif i cant fucntion but he said most side affects are over in a week so tomorrow i start on 20mg of citalopram he said to take it in morning that if it makes me to tired thent o take it at nite but if it keeps me up to go back tot he morning dose

info on citalpram(copy and pasted)

Citalopram is used to treat depression. Citalopram is in a class of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). It works by increasing the amount of serotonin, a natural substance in the brain that helps maintain mental balance.

Citalopram is also sometimes used to treat eating disorders, alcoholism, panic disorder (condition that causes sudden attacks of extreme fear with no apparent cause), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (a group of physical and emotional symptoms that occur before the menstrual period each month), and social phobia (excessive anxiety about interacting with others). Talk to your doctor about the possible risks of using this medication for your condition

Citalopram may cause side effects. Tell your doctor if any of these symptoms are severe or do not go away:
*stomach pain
*excessive tiredness
*uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body
*muscle or joint pain
*dry mouth
*excessive sweating
*changes in sex drive or ability
*loss of appetite

Some side effects can be serious. If you experience either of the following symptoms or those listed in the IMPORTANT WARNING section, call your doctor immediately:

*seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist (hallucinating)
*fever, sweating, confusion, fast or irregular heartbeat, and severe muscle stiffness

sorry that i just copy an dpasted that im running out of computer time

heres my blood work resultes

*glucose serum-83
*creatine serum-.86
*bun creatine ratio-6(low)
*sodium serum-138
*potassium serum-4.4
*chloride serium-104
*carbon dioxide total-21
*calcium serum-9.6
*protein total serum-7.1
*albumin serum-4.4
*globulin total-2.7
*a/g ratio-1.6
*bilirubin total-0.4
*alkaline phosphatse-45
*cholestrol total-178
*hdl cholestorl-69
*vldl cholestrol cal-22
*ldl cholesterol calc-87

a good portion of my numbers are close to being under the range so we will c

i also had a job interview today in behtlehem it was easy to get to i just got lost witht eh stupid street ugh east and west and its werid there its like one side of street light is east other is west ihad to aska complete stranger im like im sorry im not form around here put what way is it they were very nice though tank god but i foudn the place just in time adn there were running late neway so it all worked out ok but the interview ppl were very nice 2 guys layed back nice it was at a mortage loan place the position iw as interview for is admin assistant/ receptontist that would eventually learn how to b a mortage processor i told them i was a hard worker quick learner asked if i coudl stay late sometimes im like yeah they are like its a 9-5 job somtiems we stay til 530-6pm which isnt bad at all well not to me when they said late i was thikning like late u know asked if i minded running errands i said i dont mind it sucks but hey i need a new job but there wre very nice um its like $12 an hour which is much better then what im making now comes with benefits insruance is 60/40 they pay 60 percent of the price i pay 40 percent idk how it went i knd got confused at one point and lost in my head and didnt know what to say but i was honest at the end and said i do have doc appts going on right now and they said it was fine as long as they had notice and stuff and i know myselfi work hard i go to work no matter what its just how i am asked if nething would interfer with work i said now i know im a mess rigth now but i never ever let that get in the way of my work i told them i can fake being happy like the best of them i very good at pushing my emotions aside but that depending on the situation i do get stressed easily i just wanted to b as open and hoenst with thtme as i could i dont like to lie when it coems to that u know but i will find out by the end of the week idk what to think about it so we will ahve to wait and c i guess

but i tookt he hole day off of work today it was nice and god was the weather so nice today and i had my 2 cousins the boys i got to play with them go for walks and outside and just paly witht eh lil ones they really do make everything so much better all the time i miss my munchkin but shes doing great in kindergarden so yay for her

k pic time

outfit form friday nite. lets c friday we went to our friends cousin house none of us thought we wold b out late um yeah i got home at 530am slept na hour and went to work yup o and had a mental breakdown at 5am it happens oncee a week

interview outfit(do i look 100 lbs or under)


*mich- love u ims orry that i havent beena ble to update its been nuts if u ever wanna trade nubmers let me knwo i knwo u dont like technology but as of right now i wont get on computer much so if u ever wanna txt or nething let me know i love wht u said on my 10/5 post it really did mean alot ot me i dont see myself as strong i only c myself as surviving but when u say it that way it makes me think

*scared blogger- loveu girly

*artiste affame-ha my problmes will never lessen but im tryingt o not stress so mcuh


  1. You're definitely a lot stronger than you think you are. <3

    And yeah I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to trade numbers after your last comment--most of the fun adventure things I try to do on weekends don't cost money ('cause I'm poor too--probably because I spend money I don't have on crap I really don't need...). I'm hoping to do a Pine Barrens adventure soon, and there's a few weird roadside things kind of near you that I want to check out.
    You can email me your numbler if you want: bellatrixburrows [at] hotmail.com


  2. Good job on the job interview!!! I HOPE you get it.

    And the whole doc appointment sounds like it went really well too. Getting someone you feel comfortable with as a doctor is like THE most important thing.

    good for you. I don't comment much but I totally read


  3. Ahh, I hate having no privacy! I know how you feel on that part. Glad your doctors appointment was a positive one. It sucks when they think they know whats going on with you, with just a glance. Been there, done that. And I hope you get the job! Goodluck!!

    P.S I love your outfits, totally cute! :)

  4. I am so happy you found a doctor you like. It's actually pretty hard. They usually never listen or don't care.
    Good luck with this job. I really hope you get it. You deserve it hun.
    Lots of Luv!

  5. Good luck with the job! And I'm so glad you like your new doctor. xx

  6. cute outfits!! yay on finding a good doctor. it really is hard to find one you click with. im still trying to find a therapist i actually feel comfortable talking with.
    good luck with the job!

  7. How are you doing lately girl? We haven't heard from you in a bit, and I'm worried.