Tuesday, October 4, 2011


why does life always gave to throw me a fucking curveball why cant i just be happy or wait not even happy just content for once in my fucking life. nope nope i cant you know why its cause life fucking hates me. i struggle everyday just to make it through the day between the pain the anxiety then add in i mak ejust enough to pay my credit card bills(only alil above minium payment) my car and car insurance put gas in my car and thenmayb i can get some food. but with all my stomach issues i have to buy soy based food no milk and gluten free stuff no wheat and fruit i love fruit and that is just expensive

i've been doing aight lately i had the money from my car when i traded it in so i used it to get flyers tickets for me and the boy ont he 20th, go to they eye docs to get contacts and glasses, get the nexium i needed(but am not on nemore) extra fruit and a bunch of built in bra camis(cause i cant wear bras nemore they hurt to much).

and yesterday i got a voicemail while i waas working it was to set up an interview for a job so i called them back i go tuesday the 11th at 11am i have a doc appt at 9am that day so ima go straight there i was doing ok then i gethome to find a fucking bill for my EGD test i had done iinsurance didnt cover all of it so i am no responiable for the rest of it which is nearly $600 i dont have that laying around i just dont so i will have to call them during my lunch hour today to see if i can defer payment see when its all do and see if they will just accept like $30 a month with my luck they wont and it doesnt help that my computer died and i was going to figure out how to get a new one but know thats going to have to be on the back burner to the fucking medical bill god please can i not get one for the disida scan with cck i had too cuase that will just push me over the edge

o and im sorry everyone espeically to beth i didnt mean to blow up on you my head is never ever in the right place and i didnt realize that my writing offended so many people i just write what im feeling at the moment and yes it is more then like jumbled and the spelling is off i didnt realize so many people didnt like that. i have never been good with grammer it just was never my thing but as you can tell i tried harder to write better for you guys it took me alot longer and now im running a little late but if it makes it easier for you guys then i will try


  1. Oh honey, that's terrible! I went to the Dr in August for kidney pain and asked if I could get some routine bw done, to check my iron and whatnot since I'm a vegan - well, I didn't know my insurance only covers lab work through a certain lab, and they ran it in-house (which is they office's fault, since they took my insurance card and copay right at the door, and should have known - I have NJ Blue Cross/Blue Shield, not some odd insurance) and got a bill for $1000 like two weeks later :( I hope the medical billing people work with you.

    Where are you interviewing? I hope you can get a better job than Old Navy (though you certainly are a hard worker there) that pays you more and gets you some benefits. I wonder if they are hiring at Philipsburg hospital (I get the impression you live in that area, though maybe you're further south in NJ? My family lives in Stewartsville, so I know the area a bit) - receptionists and medical billers make more than retail I think. Ok, I'm rambling.

    By the way, thanks so much for making an effort today to make your post a little clearer. I can really tell. Don't apologize for who you are, and how you write, we love you!

  2. Are you on Horizon Blue Cross? 'Cause they seem to suck the worst. It makes me crazy, like what the heck are paying all this money for when they don't even cover anything?!?!?

    I like your writing style. It's like listening to someone talk rather than just reading it, if that makes sense. Idk...