7/6/11

so guess who is finally getting her car yes me its me and i cant b more excitedi cant wait ive been waiting nearly 2 weeks for it :) the place were the dealership got it from app sold it or soemthing idk what happend but soemthing happend i didnt ask questions but the salesmen said he waas gonna look and find me a new one that was yesterday well the boy called him cause i was at work so he told me that scott(salesman) was gonna find me another in a different color or soemthing but scott called me today he found the exact and i mean exact same car that i was oringally suppose to get fuck yes baby cause i really liked that one :) so hes getting it delivered and cleaned tomm i pick it up friday h e aksed waht time i said i work til 6 its really 5 but gives me time to shower and that me and boy would b there around 7-8ish if that was ok he said it doesnt matter he made me wait long enough for the car so he would c us friday nite so yes come friday nite i will have my car and i cant fucking wait yay yay ayay i like jumped up and down when i heard that it instantly brigthened my day u have no idea and wheni get it and have time i will post pics for u guys can c them.

so today is me and the boy 8 years anniversary yes we have been together 8 years it totally slipped my mind til i say the date on the corner of my computer screen and im like holy fuck its been 8 years we arent doing nething we normally dont celebrate csue really whats the point we know we are going to b together for awhile :) we even kinda discussed living together well not in all those words i was just complaining abou tmy mom always on mycase bout the stupidest stuff ever and he said soon u wont have to deal with her and hes liek i dont mean her dieing im like i know what u meant and i cant wait to move out of here. i get to c him twice this wkd since shit happened and he had to cancel on me last wkd so he said that he wasnt going to go out next wkd which is this wkd and we would hang out he told me tolook forward to it cause he know sim really struggle withmy eating right now i told him i didnt wanna look forward to nething just in case it doesnt work out but he said that nuttin is coming in out way this wkd.

he noticed me sturggling and he told me that i had to fight harder that im strong that ima fighter and i just have to fight it harder cause he lost so much already he cant lose me too that was after himt elling me not to do this shit again that he wasnt dealing with it and made me eat cause i didnt eat all day but then i thnk he realized that it was harsh and that he doesnt udnerstnad what i got thru but its ok we are ok and im still sturggling but im eating i went one day with out eating and he freaked so im eating i have like barely ne food cause i dont wanna go grocery shopping so what im eating is junk cause tthats all that my family has ugh its ok i thinmk ima get a bag of apples tomm i have lke $10 right now so i can get some apples

today i had off of work and instead of laying around all day like i want to i decided to b productive and clean my closest and when i say clean i mean it i really cleaned it i sitll have to color code it yet but i got to tired to do it today. i have 2 garabge bags of clothes and shoes that ima donate ima take them to one of those doantion boxes they have at like the super markets and shit and put them in there bu ti took everything out flodled it all hung what i could and putit back in and i had to move osme bins around too i didnt time myself cuase i kept taking breaks to relax and stuff but its all done now

idr if i told u about myu family picnic on the 4th ive been lacking at blogger but i are more then iwanted it i didnt wanna eat at all but as soon as i walked up yes i walking the thepark its not that far form my house and i wanted to get some exercise in well neway once i walked up they all started on how small and tiny ia m and gushing over how tiny my legs are and mom inerjects how i still go tot he gym wer i say i like the gym itkeeps me sane and blah blah blah so to stop the fucking chatter i ate more then iw anted to and it gave me a huge stomach ache ugh and it didnt help that ive barely slept in like a week and everyone kept sayng how tired i was liek fuck just leave me alone already im not that small im 103 lbs that is not small at all

i had my cousins yesterday they tired me out so much u have no idea i took the youngest one for along walk like 4 blocks or more idk we took like 2 laps trying to get him to sleep and then i palyed with all of them

the 5 yr old slept over the nite b4 since we were all at the park and iwas palying with them on thepalyground thats tring as well sicne the 19 or 20 month old likes to b thrown around yeah my arms got a workout but neway my 5 yr old asked my mom if she could sleep over since we had them the next day neway well i wasnt htere nemore so ma called me making sure it was ok sicne she was gonna sleep in my room well of ocurse i said yes i would do nething for that lil girl so she slept over we tired to catch lightening bugs outside we sould get one and then she would scream cause she didnt wanna touch it but wanted to catch them shes so funny and then we watch family guy i hate that show i dont think its right for her but there was nuttin else on at all that a 5 yr old could watch i tihnk she just liked the cartoon aspect of it all and didnt really understand it all and for once ina week i was acutally sleeping and ma kept waking meup to check on us like ma enough already i can take care of her im not uncapable of doing that i can take care of ur i do itall the time since u never do enthing neway ugh. but munchin is a lil bed hog for a tiny girl she ended up like sidways on my side of the bed i have a queen size bed u think m eand her could fit but yeah i ended up witha lil sectin she had the rest of the bed

but i was a funtime and today went well no work no babysitting duties i coudl hide in my room
working 10-5 tomm
love uguys how ur all doing well
and heres my site link again in case neone wants to join
http://darkestbeforedawn.webs.com

i acutally updated it too so in like 24-48 hours it will have its own domain name which will b darkest-before-dawn.com


oo and work is having some major good sales and i know i shoudlnt go bought nething but hey soem of the stuff was 75 percent off cant pass up that. so i got 2 tanks and a button up cardi sweater. the sweater is a light tan color. one tank as thikcers straps and ahs orange and white diagnoal strips and the other is spagetti strapped with like fringe stuff on it heres the pic of them