Sunday, July 3, 2011

story time

so mich gave me this lovely award thank u so much for it.

so i have to tell a stroy and it took me awhile to figure about what i want to write since most of u already know my eating disorder story but i made up my mind we are gonna talk about chasing ur dreams.

all of us have dreams goals that we wanna acheive hope to achieve and mayb even some of use have acheived them. i have had 3 major ones but i havent ahceived them they all failed but i dont regret them or trying to achieve them.

my first dream was to b in the olypmics. i know it prob seems far fetched to some of u but really it wasnt that far off for me and i prob could of done it too if my body didnt fail on me. see i was a gymansts and i was damn good at it too i did it for 8 years idk where i got my drive orpassion for it since none of my family did it but it was my passion it still is and i loved evey minute of it. i had to quit in middle school though and i will tell u y. i started young after i figured out i wanted to do it my parents signed me up and i moved up quickly from once a week to twice a week to 3 times a week and then b4 i had to stop i was about to go more and for longer hours as well. i loved it the flying th efree falling the rush u get the scariness of learning a new trick the exercise all of it its hard to explain. but gymnastics si so hard on ur body the constant pounding on ur joints is just crazy. i loved floor and bars the best the were alwasy myfav i loved tumbling and flying thru the air. beam and vault were ok i wasn tbest at them but hey i alwasy trie dmy hardest as well. my coaches alwasy pushe dme well thats their job to push and push and to make u the best u can. i have ribbons and medals and trophies from it and i miss it everyday adn i wish i coudl still do it and im sure if ididnt get hurt i would of made it to the olympics and that kills me everyday. but neway gymanstis get hurt alot and the moto is usually tape it up and keep going and trust me i did that alot. adnd ive spen more time on cruthces then neone i know im a pro at them. u just push thru the pain til u cant nemore. i hurt my ankle one to many times though and had to do phycial therapy on it it was the last straw either stop or risk permanat damage. and ur talking to the girl who sprained her achilles heel and kept going. and if u have ever hrut ur achilles heel u know how painful it is trust me it hur tlike a bitch but the coaches alwasy tell u to keep goign so thats waht i did i taped it up well douple tape it and off tot he workout i go i remember that day taped it up and its was off to running they would take us outside and ahve us run up and down the hill. the conditiong for a gymanstics is crazy running, rope climbing, crunches, situps, leg lifts, push ups and so on. ims orry im getting off topic but yeah that was my one dreamt o go to the olypmics but my injuries prevented that.

so next dream was in high school and it wasnt just my dream it was my hole cheering team dream. we wanted to with the national championship. and not just ne championship the uca national cheering championship in orlando florida. its not like it is now now they have all different catergories and different sections when my team was htere it was jsut my division. like high school was small varsity, medium varisy, large varsity and super varsity. tahts it now the divsions are broken up even more but every year the team alwasy dreamed of winning an dits a hard thing to do caue if u know nehting bout cheering u know the southern teams are amazing like beyond amazing. one year we didnt make it out of prelimes one year we didnt make it out of semis but then one year we made it all the way to finals and thats an accomplishment fuck just getting a bid is a good thing. but makign it to finals is amazing its scary and thrilling and jsut everythig u can think off. that year we got 7th 7th in the nation and u wanna know something the school hasnt beaten that record yeat they have gotten close but t he yearh we got 7th is still the highest my school has ever gotten and i am proud of that and so is the school. that year we also one 2 state championships for cheering and also a bunch of othe awards it was a good year.

third dream i never even came close to i wanted to desgin rollercoasters. it took me awhile to figure out what i really wanted to too but hen one day it hit me well we were in florida for the championships and i was on this haunted ride thing and it hit me that this is what i wanna do i wanna design them cause i love rollercoasters. i was taking physcis at the time yes i hated high school yes i barely went yes i barely graduated yes i suck at adding and subrtracting but give my physics and i can do that iknow its werid bu ti loved it and i could do it. but unforutnally i fucked up to much all the other years and that year as well and i realized that there was no way i coudl get into a good college and plus my ed was getting bad again so it was even harder. inever even applied to college for it i just realized that my dream no matter how much i wanted it i coudlnt accomplish it.

so i guess what im trying to say is keep dreaming no matter what u keep dreaming and u try to reach ur dreams cause if u just giv eup u will regret it u do nething that u can u put ur mind too it and jump too feet in and go for it with ur hole heart and never have regrets i dont beleive in regrets u cant go back and change the past so u might as well accept it.

ok passing this on then to 8 ppl i will pass it on to the 8 ppl who commented last:

*barbies and bones
*black angel


  1. You must have been an amazing gymnast! I really admire your dedication to continuing through the pain. Dreams are worth fighting for, even if we don't reach some of them, we'll still be stronger and better after the struggle. I agree with you about living your life with no regrets, bad things happen, opportunities are missed, but we can always change for the better and do amazing things.

    I've missed you and your blog, I need to catch up on what's been happening in your life!

  2. I loved hearing about your dreams. You should post some pics of your medals! Even tho you had to stop from injuries, that's still pretty awesome that you were competing and getting medals. Sounds like you accomplished a lot in the years you got to do it.

    I had to stop horseback riding for the same reason--too many injuries. (Doc said if I got too many blows to the head I could end up demented at a young age, or something....). Still have lots of ribbons stashed somewhere.

    Cheerleading sounds like it was fun. The cheerleaders in our school sucked, so I never got a chance to see proper cheerleaders. :/

    You could totally go to school to design roller coasters. I guess that would be like architectural design? It's never too late!! My cousin's friend just went back to school to become a lawyer, after she spent the last 25 years being a vet.