Sunday, July 31, 2011


question for u guys an d b honest here please i already know how i feel but what if u had an oppurtunity to get help to b hopsitlaized and get all the help u need but it went against what u believe in how u feel and just the person that u are would u still do it?

my answer to that is no yes i know im stubborn and im playing with my life here i know that i know my health is bad i know my stomach is a complete disaster but i just cant go against how i think no matter what.

if i did go against what i think i would have to b catorgiazed as disabled that means going on disablilty and not working to accept the fact that im crazy enough and not strong enough or stable enough to work. but in all hoineslty i work now yeah its hard to function on some days but i stillw ork i go in when im suppose to go in i do the best i cant and i make it threw my day so y should i admit to everyone that im not capable of working just to get help. i wont do it im not knocking neone who has done it or is thinking about it buti ts just not who i am its just not

i could also go about getting medicaid as well but that also involves making alot less money and also b classified as disabeled again not me and then thers also charity care im not a charity case imnot helpless i can take care of myself

yes i have a disease iknow that a deadly disease but imnot some1 charity case for them to look down one me and pity me fotr my shortcomings yes imnot rich i work very hard just to sruvive and i get pride in that

i cant just drop everything to check myself into a hsoital or residental i know there are ppl wo have quit their jobs, dropped out of school, cancalled shit just to do that but its just not the way i am ijust cant walk away from everything that i worked hard far im not gonna cancel my credit cards while they arent paid off that will fucking kill my credit i have a brand new car car insurance and a job granted its not the best job in the world but i cant just drop everything walk away from everything fro this disease its like me saying ha u one eating disorder i give up u when i will go get help but throw away everything that i worked for not happeneing

u guys can call me crazy u can not support me call me stupid for this but its just how i believe
i will b ok on my own yes im not stable i know that i knwo imlsoing my mind that my ed is getting worse and that i cant fight it on my own but iw ill not let other ppl pay for my treatment iw ill get a good job i will get better insurance and i will pay for it myself.


  1. Dani I support you in any choice you make you will always have a friend in me. no matter what.

  2. Right now? I don't think I'd accept going to hospital at all. I wouldn't want to have to leave everything behind and do that so maybe I am just as stubborn as you.

  3. I wouldnt go. That is horrible but I would have to be forced! always here for you.

    Stay strong
    <3 Jess

  4. If going to hospital goes against what you believe, honestly, you probably won't get much out of it. Clinics have never worked for me because I don't think that the methods they use will help in any way. Successful treatment takes a desire to participate and trust in the system.

    I know this is a hard decision, and I support you in whatever you may choose to do. xx

  5. Nope. I wouldn't. I was given the opportunity, last year and the year before. I refused, and was forced into it. Just like now. Its not working. I just don't want it enough.

  6. I agree with pretty much everything you said about not going into the hospital. I can't afford to put my life on hold like that--it's taken me years to put myself together the way I am. No way would I tear myself down for hospital.

    Plus all doctors are evil.