so as u knwo every firday the boy takes me out to eat for a normal meal as he calls it andi have to eat what he says i know it sucks but i try and make the most of it i usually fast all day to make up for it then i eat with him and it makes me happy i usually doont eat tomuch but he always makes me get dessert and he knows i have a sweet tooth and cant resist
so tom i was all planning to fast all day til dinner theni relaxed im working a 10 hour shift tomm and part of that shift is lifeguarding a bday party so i have to b alert u know so im thinkin i will have a yogurt b4 work then bring 2 more yogurts and some cerely sticks with me that should b enoguh to hold me over and give me enough energy to do what i have to do
ugh i ate way to much today its bad prob like 2000 cals im scared to add them up cause then i will freak out and pruge and cut and im tyring to stop both of those so i cant give in now
i did make it to the gym again today i walked on the treadmill at about a speed of 3.2 for hour and 40 min read my book while i has walking as well
i just hate myself for eating so much tis crazy andi knwo ive been sick and i should b eating to get my body healthy for wheni starve myself again i wont get sick right away ugh its a constant batttle with everything
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