4/3/11

hi guys im sure u are alla nxious to hear about my trip to new york and all that and i am so going to tell u even got 2 pics for u stupid me forgot her camera at home so no pics of the city sadly ugh

but neay b4 we go on about the trip i have to touch on my weight yes i know that i should b tryiing to recover but my weight is going down i was 107.6 last week and as of this morning i am 104.2 i am happy that the weight went down and no im not outright restricting its just with my ibs i would rather avoid foods and not b in pain but i do have sotmach aches all the time so ijust eat foods that dont hurt and have alil stomach ache ive been taking so many tums and pepto its crazy i have to go to target tomm to restock and ive been drinking so much ginger ale as well ibs has one good thing the weight loss everything else just fucking blows

ok neway here is the outfit that i wore yesterday on my trip i was 105lbs that morning




so i left my house around 820am that day and picked up the boy and our 2 firends that went with use and we drove up 2 the place to catch the bus now small town so it didnt take long at all forus to get there we were literally parked int eh lot at 830am and our bus wasnt picking us up til 850am so we just sat around awhile then went and stood outside to ge the bus

when the bus came we were the last stop of course so we had to walk pass all the ppl to get to the back of the bus yes we are back of the bus ppl i think i hit a few ppl with my bag buti didnt like walking past them its like they are all looking and staring at u and its just ugh so unnerving and ihad my big blue bag with me i was gonna bring my lil bag but there was no way i could fit allmy tummy stuf fin my lil one so i had my big back with a book, my cholestrol meds, my walet, my day planned, 2 bottles of water, bottle of giner ale, tums, pepto, aleve and a few other things and yes i did carry it around the hole time in the city.

but the bus took about hour and half to get there there wasnt much traffic in the moniring since we left so early but the bus ride so did not do my stomach ne justice all the bumps and ups and downs ugh my the time we got to the city i already drank half my ginger ale and took 5 tums and 4 peptos i was trying to settle my stoamch i didnt wanna have to b runnning tothe bathroom thehole time we were there wasi ook extras.

but we got dropped off and decided to walk about since we got there at 1030am and the hsow didnt start til 2pm we had some time to kill. now i htough that my anxiety would b thru the roof but i was ok well in the monring at least since it wasnt that busy but as the day went out and it got busier i was ali anxioius and panciky but i tried to keep myself calm and i just constanly held onto the boy i was ok as long as i wasn holdingon to him to i just helpo on to his arm whenever we were walking around my apnci got really bad when i had to like go to the bathroom and had to walk away from him but i managed it was really bad after the show in the bathroom on elil space to many ppl = a very anxious and bouncing up and down on her feet dani.

but neway we did walk around we saw times square and went into m&m world but fuck did they have the heat up high in the laces its like a sauan and then u walk outside and the cold air hits ya but it wasnt that cold yesterday it waas in the 50's and it was very nice in the sun but taht change of temperatre was just to much it could explain y i have a sore throat today.

we walked along broadway we did walk alot idk how many blocks but it def was good exercise and my legs hurt when we finally got home

but we had lunch at dave and busters we dont have one by me so they wanted to try it i didnt eat breakfast that monring so i was still empty by the time they wanted to eat lunch i didnt even eat much there i had like 5 of the boys sweet potato fries and 3 bites of my small apple salad(lettuce apples, pecans dressing ont he side) they all got burgers and fries yes even our friends girlfriend she likes to eat and she not fat either but shes not really skinny she has thegood medium going and i wish i coudl b happy like that but iw ill never b so no dwelling n that.

but we did paly games after int he game room i palyed skeeball only game i can really play love that game love skeeball the ball tried to win me a prize out of the claw machine and this was the huge claw he tried to get the wicked witch of the west but the claw just wouldnt grab it right. me and the girl raced on motorcycles now im sure that was a site to c cause me and her just ocudlnt do it i didknt even now how to get it to start and when i fianlly did i was all over the place off the road into rocks and bushes ha not fun well it was funny to do but u know what i mean. and we did play deal or no deal as well those games are so fucking fixed let me tell u the highest cases alwasy go away first no matter what fucking rip offs ha.

but we gave awa the tickets that we wont to one of the kids in there kids desrve prizes and we werent gonna donething with them so we gave them away

after lunch i had more tums and pepto yes i had more my sotmahc just wanst agreeing with me an dididnt wanna have to run tot he bathroom all the time and plus i dont like having to go to the bathroom in public places i can deal with peeing in them but i dont wanna like shit in there idk im werid i know u can say it.

but we do fiannly get to the show and since this is our first broadway show and we prob wont go back to one again i got a shirt c its cute(i wore it at work today too)



that shirt cost me $39 yes it was alot i was expecting it to b expensive but i didnt think it would b over $30 but it was but i wanted it and i liked it so i got it its good to splurge every once in awhile

the boy then got me a ginger ale cause my tummy really wanst liking me and he got himself peanut m&ms and me skittles i ate about half the bag of skittles now question here guys the bag of skittles is 250 cals but the bag of the peanut m&ms are 240 cals now how does that make sense how does the choc and nuts b less then the skittles idk yeahi know its only a 10 cal difference but still 10 cals is 10 cals if u ask me

but omfg the show was amazing we saw "wicked" and holy fuck def great the talent that those acotors have the sinigng the acting the dancing it was just all amzing and they have to memorize all that stuff its just amzing what they do cause they would b so much better thent he hollywood actors they dont get o cut adn start over if they mess up they just gotta keep going and have to remembering all of it its just wow guys u have no idea i was blown away the stage sets wer amzing with tthe ligths and the smoke and the flying monkeys i wish i could explain it more but its so hard to put it into words liek so hard to explain. but they have so much talent and the show had like comedy put into it so i was laughing alot as well and the acotress who played glenda was so good as well here comdey releift she hit it dead one. but the story went allt he way thru but when they first meet to how the tin man and scarecrow and cowardly lion were made how alpahba was turned into the wicke dwithc of the west what happened to her to make her become that way. the friendship that the 2 of them had it was all just great it was in 2 acts. so the first act alsted about an hour and half and then there was a 10 min break and then act 2 lasted about an hour. the music in it fit so well i relaly do have to get the soundtrack and i want to get the play as well and read it prob will get that tomm. if ne of u guys ever get to c a broadway show i so recommend it and def see "wicked" but a boradway show is a must u get a hole new look on what those ppl can do and how dedicated they are to there work u c them doing what makes them happy and what they really wanna do and u can tell with there prefomramcnes so def if u ever have the chance do it do it def go c a broadway show.

after the show we had to catch the bus home right away cause they bus picsk us up right after the show it drops u off early for u have time to walk around the city.

but when we got home i wanted a shower all i wanted so bad was a hot shower but guess the fuck waht my dad turned the heat down in the shower so i got in and it was like luke warm i though that it would heat up fuck was i wrong it went completley ice cold so i just rinsed off real quick and jumped out of there no1 was home when i got home and ilike havign thehouse to my self im one of those loners who would rather isolate herself then b around alot of ppl

but the boy came over again that nite after we both shwered and rested alil he wanted to go out to eat again but he fell alswwp so i had to stay up even though for once i was auctally exhausted but i kept waking him up and imlike im not gonna keep waking u up u wanna eat i dont so get up so after like the 10th time he finally moved cause he was hungry we ended up jsut going to applebees i just go tthe sweet and spicy boneless wings and ate like 4 of them he got wings as well adn these potato tiwster thingys i had a few but i relaly wasnt feel well and iw as so so tired and absoluty freezing by the tiem we got home from dinner which gratned we didnt leave my house til 11pm i was ready to just curl up in a ball and sleep and he let me get under my covers of course im restless and hes like just relax and sleep and i eveuntlly did curled up casue my sotmach hurt but at least he was there next to me.

it was good day though yesterday and i relly did enjoy myself we are planning on goingback to the city some time when it gets warmer to just spend the day there to walk around and shop and i know weird coming from me but imkinda excited about that i liked walking around the city i didnt like the ppl our the croweds or the constan beeping of the cars but walking part is good ha i know m weird u guys can say it.

the boy is still on my case about my dehradation and i know my IBS isnt helping that much eitehr but i am drinking more but with me drinkng more and peeing more he says i am peeing out all the salt in my body which is y i sitll get dizzy and weak at times so he is trying to get me to eat more salt which really guys im not suppose to b eating ne extra salt at all but hes likes u have to eat alil extra ur body needs it and i have been eating a lil more even though i dont like it the potato twisters he order at applebess are so salty but he said i needed it and really i know it is helping alil but i still dont like it

and he also says that i shodultn b eating so many potatos since they arent good for me and i know that i shodulnt b eating that many carbs its jsut soemtimes i really watn a potato
and he works at a chip place u know were they make chips and other snacks and i mentioned that i was on a fritos kick and he said that i shoudnt b eating that casue of all the oil that the fritos is cooked in cause they are fried in the grease but he said totostio are better so i will just have those from now on

wow this post is getting long im sorry and u guys dont have to read it all
but today i had to wirk 11-630 i was still exhausted from our trip yestrday i acutally slept al il when the boy left int eh morning now if u know me i usally dont sleep much and inevergo to sleep after he leaves i only sleep when he is here with me cause i feel so much safer so so so much safer when he is here like nuttin can hrut me when he is sleep ing next to me

but neway work was tirng and busy and since im gooa on the register they kep tme up there all day usually iget like afitting room shift but nope didnt i spent the hole time on the register unless i was on a break but theni was in the back room and then when i cam backright back on register again i was talking so much that my throat was hurting even more and idid get a lil dizzy today as well. but i relaly hate ppl its like 5 mins b4 we close and they walk in and then take there dam time like just get out of the store alreayd like so of us would really like to go home some of us have been working all day and want to go home we aere all getting frustrated with them i was still rining at like 610 and the mall closes at 6 but we finally did get out of there and god did we all run out. my eaitng was ok today it coudl of been better i had
*2 mangos
*few hanful jelly beans
*unsweetened apple sauce cup
*left over boneless wings(from last nite
*few fries and tator tots
* 1 cup of tea
*2 liters of water

im wathicn "the killing" now on amc the preview looked good and i wanted to check it out
well im donw talking now guys sorry that i wrote so much u know me once i get talking i jst keep going it keeps my head calm
tomm i have off of work so ima get up early have a mango then go to the gym do 65 mins on elly and then tan hopeuflly then ima do my grocery shopping and go to target and stock up on all the supplies i need for my tummy

love u all

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violet- uyeah my cousin as ulcerative colitos so i know how it is yeah idk if mine is ana realted or not stomach issues run in my family andmy immune system is shot but iw ill try those chews

onmyway-ysy for laundry i hate laundry but it has to b down

dying to be pretty-yes melt downs do help sometimes dont they

kitkat-thank u hunny

anna- glad im not the only one who gets that

scaredblogger-love u ais