3/31/11

sorry its been a few days sincei have updated i meant too i relaly did its just when i get home form work im juts exhausted and then ih ave some dinner and ihave to deal with my stomach pain and i usually end up passing out fromt he pain and then waking up sometime in the middle of the nite

so neway thanks u guys for listeing to my ramblings in my last post i get lost in my head and then i try to make sense of it in words and thats what u get my head is still all a mess but im done beatin gmyself up abou tthat purge everyone was right its not that big of deal it was justone lil slip and since purging isnt my go to i know it will b osme time until i get the urge again well i get th urge all the time but i usually deny unelss its to bad

my go to is always ana and restricitng an dmy laxs and my pills and my over exercise now i really dont take laxs nemore since i fucke dup my bowels there and now have ibs and i cant really tak emy diurtecis or acai pills cause they interact with my cholestrol meds but im still my same over exercing self

ok well neway not much has really been going on with me just the same old my stupid IBS has really been acting up and it drives me nuts cause its just so painful but im dealing with it cause really thats all i can do

i did laundry today i was do for it and i finally hungup my clothes so now my closest is nice and neat

ive been up since 430am yup and the say b4 i was up at 2am the good thing about taht was i got to the gym at 7am and it wasnt that busy i never go at that time i usually go around 10ish and its busy then but its not busy around lunch time but im trying to b good and not workout thru lunch cuasing me to skip lunch buti think 7am is a good time i finally added tanning to my membership as well and i tanned the past 2 days i cant wait til i have some color again i burned 466 cals on elly today and yestrday i burnt 443 on elly as well i did 65 mins both times im addicted to elly

well im off i gotta finsih laundry and fix my hair boy just said he was gonna come over tonite and i gotta redo my nails o an di bought blackswan the other day i sitll have to watch it i cant wait to c it

o and one more thing well acutally a question um somtimes when i eat wellmost the time when i eat potatoes it gets like really hard to swallow like my throat is swollen and it doesnt want to let the food down does that happen to ne1 else?

______________________________________________________

mrsdonae- im so use to being sick its not a new ting to me i have a horrible immune system so i always have some kind of cold

danea-thanx hun and im ok now it was just a bad moment when i wrote that

monika-yeah i understand taht they prob are a lil messed up in the head to beging with thats y they want an ed soemtihng to confirm that osmetihng is wrong

a-thanx hunny u are the best

mich-yeah taht was afluke that it came out that well i didnt think it would

dyingtobepretty-thanx hun im ok im trying to fight the voices its just hard at time u know how it is to fight against sometihng that u havent been fighitng ur hole life the only thing that u know

anoyomous-thanx hun its just hard to even get started and then u have a set bak and it derails everyting