12/24/10

so this is what i wore to work today



we were supppose to wear an ugly xmas sweater but id idnt have one so i went witht hat everoyone said i looked like an elf my boots ddidnt stay up so they wer like scrunched up and i also had on a santa hat
i think the otufit is very cute.

ive been really depressed lately i ate tomuch yesterday but i barely at today
c me and the boy got in a fight well not af ight i just fucked up again and im never good enough or pretty enough or just nething i will always b a failer and i will never b perfect enough for him i miss up everything every holidayjust everything i can never do nething right so whats the point in even trying nemore if no matter what its never gonna b good enough

so me equals failure not good enough not pretty enough not smart enoughim clueless and i forget things i cant do nething right so fuck me.

i went to best buy b4 work today i got him season 1 and 2 on how i meet ur mothers and the documentary life. idk if he really wants it but i asked him on wednsesday what he wanted which caused the fight he told me last week he saw a watch that he wanted but i didnt talk to hoim rest of the weeka nd iwassick i coudlnt think so i forgot to ask him waht one so when i brought it up on wednesday he got bad and he hasnt talked to me since he didnt kiss me or touch me on wednseday he didnt talk to me all day yesterday even wheni txted him and i havent heard nething form him today

c fuck up me just ruiined xmas again fuck i do it every year ugh.

i got new diet pills have u guys ever taken stacker 3 xplc. thats the ones that i got ur suppose to take 1 tablet after each meal and not go over 3 a deay i took one yesterday and one today i think it kept me up last nite i only slept like 2 hours last nite but idk if its from the pills or the fact that i was worried sick about what happened with the boy.

so i worked from 12-630 today and all i ate was 1 lolli(60) some chewy sour candy things(60) and i drank a thing of juice(130) so thats all i had today an didk if ima eat nething more tonite or not really i dont feel like it i dont deserve to eat cause im fat and gross and worthless

merry christmas everyone i hope that u are all good and i will post a pic of my xmas outfit tomm :)

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mich-thanx hun its ok they dont have to pretend to like them the one girl at work really liked them cause i bought some in and i gave her the recipe

broken-thanx hunny

needlesedge-thanx

deseperee-well i took half of them to work and the ppl ate them thnere and thanx hun