Friday, December 31, 2010


sorry that i didnt post yesterday i was really going to i was gonna post pics and 2 new recipes and letu guys c that i can acutally cook just not that well but yeah thats didnt go as planned

i coudltn keep nething down yesterday beisdees half a tureky sandwhich on wheat no cheese. yes i know that i purge and that throwing up isnt really nuttin new with me but there is a diffrence between doing it on purpose and being sick and ur body rejecting the food all on its own.

thats how it was eysrterday coming up on its own i was feeling nasouses for days so iknew it was coming is just dont know if im sick or if its juts my stomach and my mayb ulcers and allergies so who the fuck knw sim just hoping i can keep some stuff down today cause i gotta work and i get tired enough working wheni do eat so i cant imagine working retail witho u tnething in me.

but neway yesterday well boy wanted wendys at midnite so he got it and i ate some to make him happy had 5 spicy chicken nuggets and some fires i felt gorss after but me and fast food and grease have never got along but worked it off gotta love sex for that.

we had a talk again he believes depression is weak minded and that i have nnuttin to b dperessed about acasue i have him. im lik eyeah i have u and u help so much but its not u its me and this eating disorder hes like i dont care if u gain 5 lbs or lose 5 lbs i just want u healthy

so i got st johsn wort so gonnat ry that see if it helps.

yesterday mroing had a couple italian cookies(my fav onhly get them once a year) and lil ice cream yeah taht came back up and i layed down for a li to c if i felt better to go to the gym and i did.

so i wore my heart monitor and instead of listenign to the cals the machine told me i listent to my heart rate monitor according to that i burend 930 cals. i did a 5 min wlking fit test at 3.2 mph. ran 2 miles at 5.3 mph walked .50 miles at 3.2 then did 35 mins on elly the cascade hill workout.

im so sore today fromt he running im not suppose to b runnign on my bad leg but i like to run an dits been 2 weeks sicni worked out so ims ore but it was so worth it

after taht i did my running around grocery store and target. i got th eingredients for vegan mac and cheese and almost vegan chicken and veggie soup also got my selg glutton free cereal and breadsticks, 1/2 lb cherries, 1lb of grapes lots of soup 4 cans and one boxed( tire dthe cup of soups that mich said about) some1 said they make lite oens but didnt c so i got the chciken noodle 50 cals one sodium is high for me but i wanted them. i got a few more things just cant remember.

went to target got pack of gum, mag, st johns wort, fish oil pills, and pringles.

i went home to make my recipes i had a bag of uncle bens rice spanish style and some pringls and about ahfl way thru my vegan mac and cheese and just starting my soup i didnt feel good at all i got dizzy chest hrut nasouses so i ran upstaris had a BM and threw everythign up an dimean everyting i didnt think that much stuff was in me but everyting came upand it wasnt pleasean i flet shaky rest of the day.

i managed to finsih cooking my recipes even though the smells was makng me even mpore nasouses then i alredy weas i didnt ry ne of them casuei didnt wanna puke again i just pakced them up and will try them another time.

i layed down and watched toy story 3 i lvoe that movie its so cute a good ending :)
the boy said i didnt loook good im like how do u want me to look i haad my head in the toilet all day but he wanted me to eat smething so i got a turkey sandwhich from covneint store got it on wheat bread no cheese, lettuce pickles brown mustard and pepper it was good ia cutally liked teh sandwhich and so did my stomach well part of it only some of it came up some stayed down so im happy about that.

inolw that the throwin gup is good for my weight loss cause hey no food = no weight gain just loss ysy for that my ed is very ahppy about that so today is just soup that will keep semthing in my stomach for i dont get to weak at work and its low cal so i can still lose weight

love ua ll have a good dafe nite tonite for everyone that is going out


  1. Happy New Year!! I hope 2011 is everything you want it to be =)

    One of my GOALS for 2011 was to meet new people and hear their stories so this is me getting one step closer to ACHIEVING that goal!!

    I look forward to following your blog and hearing your story =) Here is mine if your interested:

    Happy New Year

    Bree =)

    “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

  2. I'm so happy that you can talk to you man about your problems. I love that I can talk to tyler about helps me so much.
    It sounds like you had an amazing workout so good job and congrats! By the way I'm 100000% jealous that you bought cherries.. i would die for some cherries... Much love babe, it gets better ok.
    Have a awesome new years eve and I hope 2011 gives you all the strength, health and love you need and deserve!

  3. that sux that youre so sick, ive been feeling awful lately too and I know what you mean when its self induced its different! stay strong its a new year!

  4. Awh crap pet. I hope you feel better soon.
    I'm in bed at the moment, totally fly ridden :(
    No work until Wednesday though, so I'm lucky in that respect.
    We are the same height. I can't wait till I weigh as little as you! :(

  5. I hate how some people can just brush of depression like it's just you being weak. Like do they really think that if you could "just snap out of it" you wouldn't have done so already?!? Grrr....

    Let us know how that St. John's stuff works out.