Wednesday, December 1, 2010


outfit that i wore for my job interview today

i had an interview for a part time teachers aide postion today it was 830am and it was pouring but surprisngly it was 60 degress but the temp kept droppign and dropping thru out the day and now the high for tomm is only 40 hey no wonder im always sick every winter.

so yeah interview sorry but it went good it lasted 5 mins mayb 10 tops but they had 2 positions open teachers aide for classromm and teachers aide for special ed asked what one i would prefer i went for the the classroom one. they just asked like maybe 5 questions i answered them the best i could. it helped that ihave worked with kids int he past. i told them that i babysit and at my old job i lifeguarded and taught swim lessons that im also certified in cpr, first aide, and aed but i prob would have to renew them they said they offer that thru the school most likely. they asked if i was interested in subsitute teaching i said i was going to look into i just havent yet she said it would b a good thing to ahve that and then u candc if u really like teaching and wanna make a career change.

like oneo f the questions was just like developmental like how to handle it i didnt really know what thye meant so ijust said that i would b pateint and pay close attentino to the kid and c exactly what they need or struggling with they seemed pleased with that answer.
the one interview was like assistant principal when was in high school me and her didnt get along but idk if she really remembered me or not but she did say it was nice to c me doing so well with my life that if i getmy bacholars degree that she knew a good school that was good for economics and business and she gave me the name of the school. i had to ask abou tmy earrings they didnt seem to have a problem with it they said if it was like facial piercings then mayb but there wasnt really a rule for it but they seemed fine it to like intpretate professinal as i c fit.

my old boss use to b the ones interviews old neighbor so idk how that is gonna go sicne things ended weird there but its a part time postion 3 and half hours m-f and its mornings they asked what i was doing now and i told them about me current job and that if i do get this job then all i would have to do was change my availability there they asked if i was planning on working both jobs i was honest and said yes

they seemsed pleased and said i did good and they were very nice that they would let me know in the middle of decemeber..
i acutally saw soem1 i went to high school with and worked at my old job with for awhile as i wias leaving she was interviewing as well and i talked to her for a lil b4 she got called back shes nice me and her always got along so now its just a wait and c game.

i still havent heard nething from old navy they havent called or emailed me my scheudle for next week yet so idk whats going on there they seem pleased with the work i do ima very hard worker so guess i gotta wait for that as well if i dont hear from them by saturday i will give them a call
when i gotm y scheudle for this week it said i was off all week i asked 2 ppl about it and they said they would take a look and call me so its just a waitng game.

i had my one lil cousin today my munchin shes 4 years old as she put it it was jsut us girls today her me and my mom it hasnt been just us since her borthers were born we ahve been watching her since she was 2 months old so i love her so much. she started preschool this year and its only 3 times a week til lunch time so her mom dropped her off with us int he afternoon and went back tow rk her borthers were at their nanas house.

but she bought over lunchable and chips and of course she has to share its usaully th eonly way she will eat if i share with her or if i make it so we had to sahre that and cookies and ice cream yeah my tummy hurts. but neway we ahd fun playing ahd her for about 3 and half hours

we played tag, hide and seek, school, watched tv, had a tickle fight and also had a jump and kick on dani fight were i just kept tickling her. i will bprob have bruises but we had lots and lots of fun.

we ahve all 3 of them tomm from 10am-330pm mayb longer we will c but yay all 3 i can paly with my munchin, chase after wibble wobbble and cuddle with my cuddle bug it will b a tirng day but a good tiring day.

now i said that iw as gonna dot his healthy yestterday but i had a very bad freakout today really bad and realized that i just cant do it not yet at least. i have tired to recover mutiple times thru out the years and it never works i think im just different becausei didnt develop this ive been this way since i have been born, i was born so early and so little and ihave somany food issues. ihave hated the way i looked since i was litlle. i have really werid food habits i have never been like the rest of my family i have always been different i ahve never eaten nomral the boy pointed that out even when id o manage to semi recover im still not nomral and i prob never will b so whats the point of point of trying to recover if i know that its not gonna happen at least not right now.

the way i work is i have to hit rock bottom i need help i know i need help but i cant gethelp til im sick enough and iwill never ask for help i will never walk into doctors or hopstial and say i have an eating disorder can u help me. the only way i will gethelp is to hit rock bottom and that means ihave to get sick ih ave to lsoe weight i have to get so sick that they wheel me into the hsopital thats just how i am

please dont hate me for that guys i know u guys were proud and happy that i was gonna try and b healthier but i just cant do it tno yet the freako ut was bad today for me.
i will try again eventually i promise its jsut right now the urge to lsoe weight is somuch stornger then the urge to lsoe weight.

today was bad food wise cookie binge enough said and u knwo me and dairy so i dont feel very well. i took 6 laxs after munchin got picked up so they should b working later.
i did abunch of crunches and i will do more as well.
tomm ima get back to restricting ihave aplan set in my head but its just tentative sincei m babysitting again tomm.

igot tired of having allm y books away in my drawers so i took them all out and now they are scattered in piles around my room of course they are orgainxzed its just organized chaos ha im good that them. i for 4 stacks under my tv on a shelf. for like 5 stacks oln my one shelf and 4 on my dresser and they are high stacks i have alot of books i lov emy books. so in order to have them out i put my movies int the drawers and put some other random stuff in there as well so my room is its noraml organized chaos

now can ijust comment ont herain today fuck that was crazy and if ur in jersey or u know the northeast in general u know what im talkinga bout im glad its done now though but still its gonna b cold as fuck tomm i cant imagine ifit would of been snow that would of beencrazy.

well off to do more crunches and wathc the flyers game love u all thanx for putting up with my crazy self and my crazy rambling and my crazy mind.


  1. whatever you decide to do I'm here to support you :) you're outfit is gorgeous and so are you. hope you et the job! you're so good with kids- i could never be as patient lol
    stay strong

  2. goodluck! I really hope you get the job, I believe you can do this. Stay strong
    xoxo - Ryssa

  3. How could we ever hate you for being yourself!? We'll love you no matter what. <3

    That is a really friggin cute sweater. Where did you get it??

    Hope everything goes well with that teacher's aide job!