Wednesday, December 8, 2010


so i kinda got found out today
one of my coworkers is very observant and she notices i never eat at work ro only eat like salad or chicken and she made acomment and i guess my face gave it away
so now she knows about my lil ed well not little but uknow what i mean

i trust her though like from the first moment i started working there and she was there we just clicked its like idk we were instant friends so i can trust her an diknow that she would tell neone she better not

she doesnt have an ed but she loves to workout and she eats healthy well fof r the most psrt she likes her chinese but shes more of a eat alot and workout kinda of aperson

we had a nice long talk shes very curious i liteally hid in teh fitting room for like 30 minutes with her and jsut talked yeahi do work at my job lol but yeah we talked its like she was my thearpist she doeswnt understand it but shes curious but i trust

shes like thats it we are going to worl or ur self image we are gonna go shopping sometime and get new clothes and get our hair done do a makeover tahts it we are doing it no argueing with me so yeah

shes a few inches shorter then me and 110 lbs yes she told me i didnt tell her my weight but i said its the highest ive been in a while

but yeah so im found out already ive only been wokring there 2 weeks now and i guess my ed is that obivous

i need t lose weight though im tired of being fat scale sasi 107 lbs this moring ew hate that number
i gotta work on my binges if i stop binging i will b ok
i just relaly wanna b 95 lbs thas all i really want right now
so yeah the plan i made yesterday i stuck to it well for the most part alil varaitoins
b-oatmeal and some iced animal crackers
l(break at work)-2 cookies fruit bowl(didnt eat it all there was still some apple and mano left
d-grilled chicken 2 slices light 7 grain bread(toasted) and a few tomany tostios

drinks- mugh of blueberry tea, mug of acaimango tea, grande caffeien free green tea(bought it from place at mall), almost 2 liters of water

i didnt ear my heart monito starp today so idk my heart raite or howmany cals i burnt i just work my watch for i new teh time.
but i work 9 hours well 8 had an hour break but yeah i was on my feet the hole time if i wasnt mocing i was standing. spent 3 hours in the fitting room(broken up thru out he day) hour and half training on the register and then rest just u know folding and putting clothes back.

my thumbos hurt trying to get those damn security tags off clothes is a bitch sometiems the magneitc thing doesnt work right idk but my thumbs were bleeding fro gripping them so hard ugh

ttomm i work 12-6 and then ihave friday off
but this wkd we can wear pj's so i have to buy pj's from work tomm to wear themo n saturday at least i will b ocmfy for my 9 hour shift there

it was flurring a lil today off and on nuttin stuck though but damn it was cold really cold and windy and its suppose to b even colder tomm gotta love winter in the north east ugh ih ate the cold im alwasy cold as it is and then add in the weather its like im cold to my bones

i really gotta clean my room b4 friday when i c the boy its a disaster a copletel disaster ugh like i have my ocd moments and the i have moments wer eijust dont care and yeah my roomis more like organized chaos

ok tomm ima do oatmela for breakfast again i'll bring some fruit strpes to work tomm(didnt eat the ones i was suppose to eat today) adn dinne idk mayb soup and toast

love u all time to relax and watch tv mayb do some crunhes
i cant wait for firday i need to workout like mad and i wan my elly so gym friday

lov2laff-ive gained 6 lbs im 107 sometiems i think the binges are huritng it worse cause its making it hurt more an dyeah i buy my own food so i gotta stop buying the snack items

mich-wait u cant find the pepperidge farm bread by u really did u check target and walamrt and all the grocery stores yeah i need to get neosporin it itches lik ea bitch

sarah-thanc hunny ur comments mean alot

helen vet- i have no idea what u said to me


  1. wow it's so great that you can trust her! I wish i had someone around me that knew that i cold talk about it with, but it's just too risky because i think most people would freak out...

  2. its good that she doesnt seem to freaked out by knowing. might be a good thing to have someone to talk to. binging is the worst. i gotta stop doing it too. dont worry we can do it. xo

  3. SO sorry i havent posted in super long! O.o im glad you can trust her and that she seems to be ok about it, thats awesome! i wish i could be open with someone about my ed but its hard to find that person. boyfriend knows but the closer the person is to you its harder to talk, they just get upset and worried :P

    neat! your 107lbs like me...well, its not really neat cuz it sucks but you know what i mean. i wanna get down to 95 as well, ive been struggling with that.

    have a nice relaxing night hun :3
    alice xxoo

  4. Never fear, you are doing great and staying at a healthy, skinny weight. I'm glad you've made a new friend at work, and it'll probably be fun to do a little makeover right? Everytime I see your hair in your photos, I always thin it's cute, but perhaps your bangs are a bit young? I'm sure you're look even better with a fun new style... it always grows back in the end right? :)

    Have a great Friday/weekend and keep that skinny bum warm!!

  5. i think its really cool that your co worker is talking to you and you can trust her. i have a friend that obviously has a ed and i want to talk to her so bad. we talk bout food and stuff and i think we secretly talk bout exercising and eating too much when obviously we dont hah. maybe someday. also, i really want to get to 95 too! thats like my major goal! we can do it together! just stay strong hunnie!

  6. You are so lucky that you have someone you can trust about this! I'll bet it helped a lot to talk to her.

    My goals have been getting lower and lower lately, so I guess I'll just see what happens lol.

    I'll bet you'll do just fine with the not binging. I think I need to start planning out my meals, because it's when I don't know what to eat that I go apeshit and just shove everything in the kitchen into my fat mouth.

    OMG, yesterday we were at Wal-Mart, and we saw some panties and we were like "those are so cute!" , and in my mind all I heard was "yeah, cute until they're stretched over my fat ass."

    So yeah, I know how you feel, hun. Just stay strong, and keep up the good work!