2/16/11

i dont really have to much to say today. im done to 105.8 as of this morning ugh i cant beleive i let myself get back above 105 god im such a failure and a fat ass

i didnt have to work today but i did have to babysit i was palnning on spending all day in bednot moving and barelye ating but then i had to babysit so that plan got shot to hell but i love my lil munchins so i didnt mind the change of plans

im sitlll not feleing great but i realized that as long as im not on my feet tomuchim ok yes still in pain but not as much as when im standing and talking alot

i didn thave to run around much after teh kids today cause 2 out of the 3 of them were sick P has strep throat and B had an ear infection lil N was ok hes getting so big and babbling up a storm well not babbling but u know how babies are always making noises

P didnt feel well at all so we curled up on the couch alot today we watched toy story 3 and seh took a 2 hour nap most of the day was spent on the couch with her ive been watcing her sicne seh was born and shes almost 5 now so u can c the bond that we have she just wanted to curl up with me and just chill so thats what we did we watched the movie and aobut 2 hours of spongebob(hate that show but she loves it and once u start watching it no matter how much u hate it u get like addicted to it) she did play a lil we played restratn dont ask we make up our own games but then she started not feeling well at all again so we curled up on the couch again

N is just chill hes just so content with sitting on ur lap and looking around love babies
and B well even though eh wasnt feeling well he still ran around and play but u could tell hes ear was buggin him cuse he kept pulling at it

we have them againt omm i cant wait to c them again i was suppose to work 12-6 so i would only c them for like 2 hours but my one manager called and moved me tot he 3-930 shft so i will spend the afternoon with the 3 lil cutest kidsin the world then go to work and feel like shit cause i will on on my feet the hole time gotta love retail

my eating has been shit lately ugh really hatemyself i wanted toose 2 lbs this week and get back to 104 or lower buts its not working at all ugh

so today iate
*blueberry oatmeal(i used a bigger bowl and it didnt explode in the microwave go me)
*few spoons of cake icing
*100 cals of veggie and noodle soup
*4ish choc chip cookies
*8 chicken nuggets
*cup of ice cream
*promgrante fruit bar

ugh way way wya to much food hate myself

drinks
*2 cups of tea(1 green and 1 passion both caffeine free of course)
*alomst 3 liters of water

execise
just playing wiht the kids and a few crunches

god i gotta stop being so fat and gross hate it hate it hate idk were allmyc ontrol went its like poof gone i get stuck in theses werid different cycles and it drives me nuts i would give nething to b normal an dnot having this fuckign disease i qwish food didnt scare me i wish that calorie content wasnt constnatly swimming arond in my head its like all i think about ugh sutpid disease

_____________________________________________________________

mich-ha i lovelaw and ordee i so gotta buy yhe box sets for i can do that i have off on friday iw as gonna go for a runsince its suppose to b os nice but prob just og for a slow walk instead and then rest

ash-idk how to sit and do nuttin im restless

anoyonous-thanx hun

scared blogger-u know i mean everything that i say right

acka11- i cant go to the docs im in america hun and i dont have insurance and without insurance it means doc visits are a shit fuck ton ofmoneythat i dont have