Monday, February 21, 2011


i knowu guys all wanna hear about mt wkd but in all honesty my head is moving amile a minute and i cant form a good coherent thought its all my fault i shoulnt of ate osmuch today i shoudlnt of stopped after work and got a medium chicken pot pie soup and a large tea and followed itu p with cookies and crackers yeah my stoamch is huge and it hurts so so so bad
ugh im fat and gross adn huge and disgusitng and pathetic and a failure and not good enough and not skinny enough and just everything my head is just replaying gross gross gross over and over and over agan yes i get it head img orss and a failure and im not good enough and im never gonna b perfect or fragile or broken i gotta make my head happy i gotta get it to stop yelling at me im tired of my boyd fighitng me im tired of being way to fat and ugh i hate the weight it was 105.6 this morning whihc is normal for me which is way gross ugh gross

so yeah im still sick and i guess everyone is starting to notice now cause i guess i look sick my uncle cameup to my mom at the baby shower yesterday and said they better get me back on there insurance(new law can b on til ur 26 now) and they better get me to the doctors cuase i dont look good and teh boy even said that i look really sick and not healthy
mylungs still hurt my chest does my heart as these werid palaptions im weak adn tired and shaky and dizzy i feel like ima fall overaall the time working is so hard when im this sick but i cant take time off cause i need the money everyone is still convinced i have walking pheumonia

hair appt is tomm so as soon as i get home i will take pics and show u guys

ash-as much as i would love to take a break thats impossilble im glad that i could help and ih ave no idea y ppl would acutally want this they obv dont knowhow hard it is

mich- i got it at kohls thats were i get most ofmy clhtes i hate panic attacks they just ruin everything

scared blogger-of course u can eamil me hun

managdin-no insurance it would cost tomuch

acka11- will try and take a day off no guarantees though

needlesedge-thanx hun

a- thanx hunny u stay strong as well

bree- im glad that u can b happy


  1. your not fat, and your not worthless. this is hard and we mess up.

    i really hope you can go to the doctor! maybe if you get all your aches and pains settled out you'll have an easier time.

  2. I'm sorry to hear about how sick you are, ): I hope you're feeling better! & things are getting better. Stay strong girly, <3