Monday, February 21, 2011

2/21/11

i knowu guys all wanna hear about mt wkd but in all honesty my head is moving amile a minute and i cant form a good coherent thought its all my fault i shoulnt of ate osmuch today i shoudlnt of stopped after work and got a medium chicken pot pie soup and a large tea and followed itu p with cookies and crackers yeah my stoamch is huge and it hurts so so so bad
ugh im fat and gross adn huge and disgusitng and pathetic and a failure and not good enough and not skinny enough and just everything my head is just replaying gross gross gross over and over and over agan yes i get it head img orss and a failure and im not good enough and im never gonna b perfect or fragile or broken i gotta make my head happy i gotta get it to stop yelling at me im tired of my boyd fighitng me im tired of being way to fat and ugh i hate the weight it was 105.6 this morning whihc is normal for me which is way gross ugh gross

so yeah im still sick and i guess everyone is starting to notice now cause i guess i look sick my uncle cameup to my mom at the baby shower yesterday and said they better get me back on there insurance(new law can b on til ur 26 now) and they better get me to the doctors cuase i dont look good and teh boy even said that i look really sick and not healthy
mylungs still hurt my chest does my heart as these werid palaptions im weak adn tired and shaky and dizzy i feel like ima fall overaall the time working is so hard when im this sick but i cant take time off cause i need the money everyone is still convinced i have walking pheumonia

hair appt is tomm so as soon as i get home i will take pics and show u guys

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ash-as much as i would love to take a break thats impossilble im glad that i could help and ih ave no idea y ppl would acutally want this they obv dont knowhow hard it is

mich- i got it at kohls thats were i get most ofmy clhtes i hate panic attacks they just ruin everything

scared blogger-of course u can eamil me hun

managdin-no insurance it would cost tomuch

acka11- will try and take a day off no guarantees though

needlesedge-thanx hun

a- thanx hunny u stay strong as well

bree- im glad that u can b happy

2 comments:

  1. your not fat, and your not worthless. this is hard and we mess up.

    i really hope you can go to the doctor! maybe if you get all your aches and pains settled out you'll have an easier time.

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about how sick you are, ): I hope you're feeling better! & things are getting better. Stay strong girly, <3

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