Friday, June 3, 2011


first off thank u all for ur replies on my scar/selfharm/hide urself post it really did mean alot and to hear all ur stories really did help alot made me realize that i just have to fuck everyone else and do what i want that i shouldnt listen to what other ppl say that i shouldnt care what theythink and i shouldj ust ignore their stares and judging glances

so today i went to work for the first time with out my bracelets on yes i still had a long sleeve shirt on but i didnt put my braceles on under like i alwasy do adn my sleeves kept riding up and my scars kept shwoing yeah i kept pulling my sleeves back down but its a step in the right direction mayb some day i will b able to not wear long sleeve shirts or my bracelets and jsut let my scars show and say fuck everyone

*unbeautiful-well we are both crazy then ha thanx for ur psot hun and i know alot ppl do what we do its just still hard to cope though

*scared blogger-im not leaving you or going newhere hun so dont worry

*gianni-trust me they didnt taste good at all coming up im glad that u are cut free now hun wow 5 years that is just amaazing an dim so proud of u hun that is just amazing c i cut to feel numb to make my head stop yelling at me id rathr not c blood itmakes me nasouess. the pics dnt really make me feel better but i think that they just show a side of an ed that not many ppl see or know u know what imean

*lissa- i think ppl will judge u no matter waht cause its just how ppl are they judge u to make them feel better about themselves. its not the first time ive purged spicy food u think i would leanr my lesson yeah nope

*coffeexandxcigarettes-wow thats great that ppl dont bring it up see i feel that the ppl im around are nosey fuck they dont go a day with out commenting on how skinny i am so how am i suppose to let my scars show and have thema sk questiosn about them. glad that u agree about the pics

*adrianne-def let u know how the books are i got piles and piles of them in my room and piles of them that i havent read yet im an addcit i cant help it and yeah i stop from time to time too for a few months and then things just get to crazy and im back to it again it never ends

*lyz-yeahi hate that i cut i wish inever started but i cant regret that cause i dont regret things cuase whats the point of regrets when u cant go back and change them nemway u know

*bones-yeah i have a pile of bracelets tah i wear on my right arm to hid emy scars i just find it funny im a righty but i dont use my right hand to cut i could never hold it right i alwasy used my left god im fucked up.m glad that u dont find the pics offensive

*danielle-thanx hun i will def have to check that out sometimes

*desesperee-idk if i want to fade themc asue they are a part of who i am a part of the struggle that ive been thru and when i looked at them i reemmber allt he pain i went thru and how the cutting made me feel yeah i hate sseeing the scars but they are a reminder of what ive been thru and what i survived

*always striving-wow hun thanx for that comment i iwsh that i was that strong to acutally go thru with what u said and to ignore what otherp pl say and think bu tim not im a coward and it just scars me to bare my soul that much to let them show to let ppl know that i struggle with so many things and that i cant cope with things and that that is how i deal with things that i dont deal with things the way society would wnat me too but good for u for not caring and letting ur scars show

*mich-yeahi just feellike ppl judge wrist scars more then the judge other scars cause when they c scars on ur wrists they automatically assume that u have tried to kill urself that ur suicidal that u dont wanan live and my scars arent that they are a way to know that im still alive that i can still feel

*skinny girl- i am follwoing u now hun

*miss obession- im sorry if they made u feel bad or offened wasnt my intention ijust wanted to show the real side of an ed well one of the real sides and i thought those pics did that

*ally-glad that u liked it hun

*brittany- taht was th epoint to make ppl open their eyes to c that ed's are perfect or fun they are messy and fucked up

*emma- i dotn mean to b rude or nething but there is no fucking way in hell that i am going to give out tips or tricks or make u sicker or nething like that im fuckedup this blog is suppose to show the struggles tha ti have with my ed how fucked up i am how its ruining my life so sorry nope i cant help u i will never help ne1 get as sick as i am

*shrinking violet-im glad that u like the blog it helps me stay sane helps me make snese ofmyhead adn the thoguhts even if most of my posts dont make ne sense at least i got the noise out of my head and ontot he screen yes no more purging for u i dont want nething to happen to u

mini update

so i should just b locked away ina padded room and never let out i purged again today again that makes 2 times yesterday and one time today im fat gross huge elephant i dont deserve nething nemore i need to b watched i cant b left alone cause when im alone i purge fuck i purge when im not alone too casue no1 seems to care so fucking hell i need to get out of this purging cycle i hate it i hate it so much


  1. I know it's little consolation, but I'm right there with you. When I'm alone, I inevitably b/p. You DO deserve better, I know things are rough, but hang in there, and stay strong!

    Letting your scars show is a huge step, and I'm sure it took a lot of courage!

  2. I'm really proud u stopped wearing ur braclets I stopped wearing mine a fw days ago it was really hard at first because they are really noticeable but I noticed if u pretend they aren't there u kinda forget then so the ppl around u n they don't even notice so it like you even have n also sometimes I forget abt them n till I look at my wrists also the kittens were adorable! N I wanted to say thanks cause uve been a great help to me n motavion n everything so I can't even really tell u how thankfull I am so just thanks I guess! Stay strong! <3 brittney