Tuesday, July 27, 2010


"stupid fat gross disguisting pathetic fat ass mother fucker never going to get skinny or get to perfection if u keep eating like that u fat ass get back on track stop that candy fat ass"

gotta love my voices yes that was my voices this morning i just wanted to say omg just shut the fuck up already i know i fucked up fucking hell just shut up fuck. but i know that the voices are there to help me and they are right im nver gonna get skinny if i keep eating the way i did today ugh fat ass

i had a freak out this morning idk what possessed me to eat a half a box of movie theater sweet tarts but i did i felt a lil better after i did all the bath and figured out the cals but still ugh but heres the mathe 13 pieces=60 cals which is one serving there was 11 servings in the box so 11 times 60 =660cals for home box so divide that by 2 u get 330 cals. the only good thing is that sweet tarts dont have fat cals in them so yay for that and i calmed myself donw saying that i can stay under 800 ive been trying to stay between 400-500 cals lately but i do have a max limit of 800 cals after i go past 800 i freak out even more which isnt fucking good at all casue my freak outs are bad

last nite me and the boy went to the movies we saw inception. the movie was really good very interesting but also a lil confusing u have to really pay attention and i wanna c it again for i can notice things i didnt notice the first time around u know what i mean. well i have the rewards card for the movie theater so we ended up getting a free small popcorn and then since we went on a monday we get a box of candy for $1. the boy ended up getting nachos i just got my free small popcorn and my $1 candy and a large bottle of water. i [ut the candy inmy purse didnt touch them at all last nite i didnt touch them til this morning. i did eat half of my popcorn though im addicted to popcorn though and i skipped dinner that nite for i coudl have the popcorn

today i worked 10-4 i tried to stay on my feet most of the day even if i didnt hav enething to do i stood neway. i still get weak and tired quicker then usual cause of my sickenss soi do have to sit form time to times but i was proud of myself for standing as much as i did. sicnei cant exercise i gotta get all i can so standing instead of sitting walking around u know every cal counts so yay for that. i did clean alil just not as much as i did yesterday but i stood more today then i did yesterday

after work had my lil cousins again today they make me so happy and we dont have them the rest of the week but i was happy that i got to c them 2 days in a row so i had them from like 415-615ish so about 2 hours and we played prettymuch the hole time me and the 8month old walked around alot hes starting to walk while hold my hands so he always wants to go and we also went out side withhes 4 yr old sister we walked around and played toss across also played on the slide so got alil workout there as well

ima start doing air bike everynite well try to do it everynite thanx buddy for the suggestion it was a great idea and i love it ur the best and also crunches as well. ima try and go back to the gym next week hopefully god i hope i can cause im going fucking crazy not being able to workout

so i finished my bottle of robutisin today and i finished my bag of cough drops yesterday i still have few days left on my antibotics and i think my nasal spray will b done tomm. im starting to get a sore thorat god i hope that im not gonna get sick all over again cause my meds are running out

food log
*1 and half bottles of water-0 cals
*cup of hot grean promgrante tea-0 cals
*cup of cantalope-55 cals
*dry blueberry special k-100 cals
*half box sweet tarts-330 cals

at work 10-4pm
*liter of water-0 cals
*sobe lifewater 0- 0 cals
*cup of tomato salsa soup-57 cals

with kids 415-615pm
*bottle of water-0 cals
*6 bites of choc-?

*cup of tomato salsa soup-57 cals
*6 asparagus spears-20 cals
*bottle of water-0 cals
*cup of hot grean promgrante tea- 0 cals

i have to eat again at midnite to take my antibotics so i will just have an apple(60) then hopefully the boy wont make me eat more

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