3/24/11

ok realization time again yes i know it happens alot lately but my head just never shuts the fuck up do u guys ever just sit there and think about how u ate when u were younger or in my case in middle and high school i dont really remeber much b4 that but yeah

so i was sititing here the other day and thinking abut that how i ate in middle and high school. and i realized that i wast revertng to some of my eatinghabits taht i had back then now granted guys i was barely100 lbs in high school middle school i staye din the 90 lb range always got i miss the 90 lb range

but yeah neway i was thinking and i realzied that im gon back to those habits some of them are werid like when i would just eat peas yup just peas and they would b cold cause i hate them warm

anotherthing i would do would i would makemyself like lunchor dinner and it wouldnt b like a meal or nething it would just b a backed potato no skin chopped up with some veggies on top and that was it and thats all i would eat for like days on end

and thenmy werid ceral habits were i mix all differnt kinds o fcereal ina bowl and eat it like that back then i use milk but cant have daiy nemore so now i use almond milk

i guess its not a bad thing that im reverting back to them cause mayb i can get back int eh 90 lb range but its just werid that it just came up all of a sudden and its all i want baked potota no skin with veggies

is that werid to u guys like my weird eating habits i know its not nomrla for me to eat the way i do but its like bam i have been doing this for so long and i so thru so many phases that no1 even questions then nemore

my phases bounce around like crazy no one can ever keep up like one time i will b eating only cereal for days on end, and then we will bounce to just frozen vegan and vegetarin things, and then we will go to jut my potatoes and veggie phase or just veggies or just fruit and hten we will cupt out all chips and junk and not even think back like i kno wit smy ed making me do all thise but do u guys ever do crazy stuff like that or am i the only nut case out there.

so yesterday i had to work boring bring day yup cause of th eweather the mall was even slower then it nomrallly was and i had an 8 hour shift that day the only good thing about an 8 hour shift is that i get an hour break an di can lay on the couch in the back room and just read my book and no1 will bug me or nehting its nice. but th eday was boring an di had to spend most of my time on register cuase that were they stuck me i did spend my last hour of my shift hidng in the fitting room yup hidin gthe one girl that was scheduled in there that hour is relaly nice she was seasonla too and they kept her and me so we have that in common but ijust hid in there the last hour and talked to her and did absoulty nuttin

the sucky thing was that we had my lil cousins today my munchins and i coudlnt even c them caus ei had to work it made me so sad and we dont hav ethem nem ore this week so have to wait til next week to c them i do have a cute pick of my lil man trying to crawl while hes smiling at least ma took the pic and sent it to me so yay for that

i ate way to much yesterdayi was doing ok all day and then i got home and had lil a mini binge and i hated myself for that so yesterday i ate
* 3 choc chip gluten an ddairy free pancakes
* 2 small apples cut up
* soy yogurt mango flavor
* salad(lettuce, 5 cherry tomaots, 2 kosher dill pickles, bread and butter pickles, vegan cheese, italain dressing
* dry fruit loops
* like 5 slices of pepperdige farm light bread(ugh for that ass)

i was doing good yesterday i went a hole day with out ne of my diuretcis or acai pills or diet pills yay me so i went all of tuesday with out them and then i went almost all of wednesday it took some after my dinner binge so that was 3 diurtsics and an acai pill so far i havent taken ne today but who knows i prob will taek soem cause i feel the need for them

so today i had off of work and yup it snowed again go figure there ugh we are stuck in this lil ull and guys its the end of march it didnt snow much just like a coating but then u add in the coldness and t rain and freezing rain and sleet gotta love the notheast but neway back tot oday

i had to do some errands and stuff ugh no grocery store ha im putting that off till next week hoping they will have better fruit sales next week then they did this week but neway i went to target i needed a few things so i got

* fritos(ive been addcited to them lately y idk)
* 4 cans of peas(i eat them cold yes)
* 3 bottles of vitamin water
* face wash and astrigent
* makeup(eyeliner, mascara, and eyeshadow)
* 3 nail polishes and a top coat
* clearance black long sleeve shirt
* make it or break it season 1 volume 2

they didnt have the first volume so after that i went ot best buy and then didnt have it either so i went ot walmart and they didnt have it at walmart i ended up getting a bag of dum dums and the new selean gomez album( guilty pleasure what can i say)

so i guess iw ill just watch the second volume until i can find the first one

i got dizzy and shaky while i was out shopping i dont know y i ate this mroning and i drank like a liter of water and tea b4 hand so ishoudlnt of got dizzy but it was so bad tha i had to open my firtos and have some while sitting in my car fo rit to pass for i coudl go home.

ok so food log so far
*few grapes
*small banana
*dry apple jakes
*way to many fritos
*2 liters of water
*decaf mint green tea hot

and im gonna make some baked potatos no skin and some cold peas shortly and hope i dont eat nething later if ido it will prob jsut ve soem fruit or soup

yes i know im fat and gross and huge and i fucking eat way way to much ugh
i started reading a new book a new one by kim harrison fav author what can i say idk if i will read more of it today or justu watch tv and movies and attempt to do some crunches

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anonoymous- it wasnt to bad its just hard when ur head is screaming at u cause someone is looking at ur fat sto,ach ew ugh i haven theard the resluts yet

violet- hey hun u dont ahve tow orry about me im ok i am drinking alot more water though at least

zette- sorry didnt mean to make u want those things

danae-thanx hun as soon as i find out i will def let all of u guys know

anna-good luck on urs hun let meknow how it turns out

mrs donoe-thanx hun

mich-yeani ented to eat to much cereal its just so addciting but i cant eat thehole box its way to much for me i hope they figure it out too cause the pain is bad and when im at work its not like i can bend over gasping in pain i gotta keep it in and let me tell u that is hard