3/26/11

so i got a letter from my docotrs office it wa smy results of my ultrasound and u know what it said all it said was it came back normal thats all idk how it came back normal with all the pain i have been in lately but it came in normal

i calle dmy uncle cause he wanted to know the results when i got it and he says fromt eh pain im having and weres its located he really thinks its my gallbaldder so he wants me to call my doc on monday and tell him t hat im still in pain an dthat i want this certain test done and if he wants to c me my uncle wants to come with me for he can yell at him and mak ehim listen since he doesnt listen to me at all.

i went tot he gym today i just walked ont he treadmill for 65 mins i did one of those random hill workouts just on level 10 at a speed on 2.7 mph i burned 234 calories doing that i wanted to do elly but i coudlnt find my knee brace so i coudlnt doi t if i workout more then jsut wakling i need my brace or i risk popping my knee bakc out

i was gonna tan too well add tanning to my membership but the ppl at the desk were busy and the weridos werent there not the normal ones im use to so i didnt but i really need to tan i haven tanned since september when i stopped working at the tannign salon its so werid me being this pale caus ei tanned regularly for 4years while i was there i kept a nice golden color not to dark just perfect and now im just ew and pale and the boy doesnt like me this pale so i either gotta add tanning at the gym which idont trust much cause who knows when they change their bulbs or find a new tanning salon whichi dont have the extra money for but to add it on at the gym is only 5 extra dollars so i can afford that.

after my workout iwent to kohls i had a 20 percent off coupon and i was determeined to conquer my fear of skinny jeans and i did i bought 3 pairs and they were on sale for only $14 so i got a good deal on them im still a size 0 thankfully i just cant gain much mroe or i will go up a size and i refuse i have never been a size 1 and irefuse to b one now so yeah not gonna happen not at all. i also got osme shirts as well i just got 5 basic tees for 6 bucks each im really am a bargain shopper now i have to b i saw this really cute shirt but i didnt get it casue it was over 20 bucks ugh sucks o also got 2 long sleeve shirts ont he clearance rack all my sihrts are a size small now ugh no more xs which really sucks.

i kinda just wanna lose the weight i gained and then start trying to be healthy again cause i gained the weight way to quicky i went from 103 to nearly 108 is a matter of weeks an dijsut cant stand it as of today im 107.6 ew i hate that number so muchi just wanna b int he 90's so bad again

well yestrday date nite went good we went to red robin an di gto a turkey burger on whole grain roll and ate half of it and i ate my fries that came with it and also had 3 onion rings so dinner was good i ate way to much b4 that though lets c b4 dinner i ate: 3 pieced dried fruit, half an apple, dry apple jacks, cranberry trail mix, fritos, cup and half tomato salsa soup, handful peanut m&ms and some nomrla trail mix

my somtach did dont like me so much this morning cause of that i live off of pepto bismal and tums i know its prob not good to take all that but i have to or im like on the toilet all day and u cant live ur life from there so

and yeah so far today i have eaten: some normal trail mix, 4 small gluten free dairy free pancakes, cold pees(bout a cup), dry apple jacks

yes im fat and so huge and i hate myself i really do my stomach sticks out so much like im really trying this recovery thing but fuck ididnt think the weight gain would b this quick i cant deal with it make it all stop make it all go away please

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dying to be pretty- thanx hun yes i miss them somuch u have no iea my head as been goign crazy for days on end and it just wont shut up

annoyomous-he says he cant do enthing abou tthe dizziness casue nuttin is wrong with me

zette-thanx hun i got them both at old navy

lou-thanx i always have fun with the boy

ana- old navy

happiness-aw thanx friend

danae-thank u so much sweetheart