Saturday, May 21, 2011


im so confused idk what to do nemore my head is just all fucking jumbled up im trying so hard to eat more for the boy to eat and b better for he doesnt hav eto go thru the pain of losing me too cause we all know my health isnt good

but whats thepointof trying so hard when he shuts me out im not blaming him i understand y he is doing it he has lost alot and i dont blame himi just wish he would let mehelp him let me b there for him let me comfort him but its ok i will wait and when hes ready he will come

i was looking up meal plans that are used when u are recovering from anorexia and damn i cant do it 1) there is a shit ton of food that i cant eat due to my stomach and 2) its just to much all at once

all the starches meats and dairy and carbs i have so many stomach issues i cant have ne dairy cant have nething raw no wheat or glutten so i guess i should just give up on this hole recovery thing cause its not gonna work for me neway there is no way it will my mind is to wrapped up in it ive been this way for to long my body is to fucked up from it ugh


  1. when I tried to recover It hurt A LOT but i did it anyway and in a few weeks my body got used to the food and it became easy

  2. Sometimes is very hard but You must be strong.
    Will be good (:
    I'm with you

  3. dont give up
    stay strong and keep going <3

  4. I know this is rough, but you have to believe that you can find a way through it. stay strong <3

  5. Oh sweetness. Sorry this is late but I felt I should comment on this one. First off, you can't rationally be upset if he won't let you "help" him. Maybe his idea of help doesn't match yours that's all. And secondly, recovery is painful on your mind, body, and soul. There's no way around it. My one suggestion would be to try to think about you yourself, not your boytoy or the situations around you guys right now. But think of yourself as this entity that needs a decision regardless of the environment. And then whatever your heart and brain agree on is what you'll be the most comfy following. And you can always reassess later on in life.

    But I am sorry for you yucky tummy :( I hope it eases up.