Sunday, May 15, 2011


i guess i should explain my last post it had nuttin to do with my ed its just my family doenst have the best of luck its just one blow after th enext after the next thats y i hide my ed cause idk how much more my family can take things go ok for alil while and then bam bad news after bad news its like fuck it already

well my faimly i guess we are diong aight at the moment no major stuff but that will prob change since my aunt is still waiting test on her tyroid cancer she was in remission it came back though but they think it spread

but neway yesterday it was soemtihng that happened to the boy i checked my phone on my break and i have a txt from him saying that hes brother had a massive stroke on both sides of hes brain that he was prob going to die i txted him back he didnt want me to leave work he didnt want me to come over after he just didnt want me there but i wont hold it against him its alot to handle

he lost hes father suddenly a few years back as well to a stroke so its just like a slap to the face iw as shaking so bad and my chest hurt sharp painsi told hte one girl shes like waht are u still doing here an di said id rather be here then risk being at home and do something stupid she agreed with me there

i didnt here from the boy all nite id idnt here form him til this afternoon when i checke dmy phone on break hes brother died i just cant i just cant deal with it nemore

im so sorry for him so sad that he has to go thru that again i want to b there for him he doesnt want me he said he was ok i told him i was here but idk i guess he just wants to b with hes mom and hes father which i dont blame him for he should b with them

but it got me thinking he had to watch hes brothe die he had to make the deicison to pull the plug on hes father and then he has to watch me slowly kill myself cause i cant get a hold of my eating disorder

i dont wanna lose him i dont want hes heart to give out either i cant lose himim barely hanging on as it is what do i do? how do i make it better how doi help him just how i dont have ne answers u need answers


unbeautiful-im alwasy questining everything. i dint know they had cinnamona pples either but when i saw them had to have them they were all warm and gooey so good

starvingfroperfection-yeah i dont believe in god either. im sitll huge though i thinkj that everyone thinks differently well of course everyone has their own thoughts and opions i just wish my thoughts were my own

lou-sometmes i think there is no point in it at all

americaneaglelove-im sorry that u were lied to so much i just some1 was around to give me all the answers. thanx hun i like to layer my clothes

aly-im suriving thats all i can do right. thanx hun ij ust wish i saw what everyone else say

bones-i know good exist i just dont understand y i cant have ne of it or my fmaily or the ppl i love. thanx i like my tattoo as well i have on eon my back too. thanx for the comment on my outfit. ur so right i gotta start dong things for me

graceyj-glad u like my blog

mich-dude u are much smaller then me i bet urs are out everything just makes me sick i try to pcikt hat thing that will make me the lease sick no dont have that ive never even heard of that place. i go tmy shirt at old navy

jenn- ha thanx for that hun

dileur-thanx hun i was alwasy a runner and a gymnast so yeah good legs for that

black angel- thank u hun and i lov eur blog btw

dark6_fairy-thanx hunny


  1. omg thats horrible!): i think u should be there for him even if he doesnt want u there he will appreciate it later like when u just want to be alone so u can do something stupid but your friend wont leave then later you realize your greatful they need to be there for him you need to keep him happy and do happy things try not talk about things that could lead to a sad convo just keep his spirits up thats the best you can do for him

  2. Oh dear! That's just absolutely horrible! I am so sorry. That's not fair at all. D:
    I think you just need to be there for him, especially when he's ready to talk about his brother.
    This is just so sad. :(

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about your boys brother. That is so awful. And for you aunt I hope things look better. I'm there for u hun. And ur allowed to write about whatever u want. Luv ya hun

  4. That is so sad. So many people are suffering lately. I hope the cancer hasn't spread in your aunt. I wish the best of luck to her. My condolenses to your boy's brother.