Wednesday, June 9, 2010


so i didnt sleep well at all last nit ei though i would cause i was so tired and i selpt well the nite b4(i know shocker there since i never sleep) yeah but last nite i just kept waking up i was having chest pains it sucks at one pointi took my bra off yeah im werid i sleep in my bra i though mayb that was bothering me but nope that didnt help it at all i did manage to get some sleep just not alot so i felt tired all day.

i was also short of breathe 2day as well and really sluggish but i made it thru the day

i fucked up today though ugh i dint go gorcery shopping cause it was raining so hard and ididnt wanna go out in the rain but after today no more fuck ups i cant do that nemore iguess the extra food is good casue i have docs tomm so they scale will say higher then it would nomrally say but still i really hate myself i feel so huge and just gross and a fat fat fat ass ugh fuck me im horrible and gross and i have no control ugh fuck my life time to get back on track though

food log:

* cup hot tea
*liter of water
* cup dry bran flakes
* 2 slices light oatmeal toast

at work 10-3pm
*liter of water
*cup of hot tea
*vitamin water 0 lemonade
* apple
* cup of popcorn

playing with my cousins 3-630pm (heres the fuck up)
* 3 straburst
* 2 sugar waffer cookies
* 1 oreo
* fries
* ice cream

we did play alot and walking up and down the half way dozens and dozens of times while holding a 7 month old i know burned off some of it but not all of it and ishouldnt of even ate one thing after work y did i let that food touch my lips ugh i prob gained like 5 times

dinner(fuck up #2)
* grilled cheese( peppreidge farm ligth bread and vegan cheese)
* 3 vegan chicken protein tenders
*cup of hot tea
*liter of water

ok so im def going shopping tomm i need to cause i got a plan and ima stick to it no more eating the downstairs food i only am allowed to eat the food that i buy so heres how the plan is gonna go

breakfast- cup dry bran flakes and either fruit or toast
lunch-fruit bowl
dinner- salad and either veggies fruit or some kind of protein

200 cals thru out the day then dinner with the boy i will try and make it a salad or veggies

as lil as possible it all depends on howmuch i work during the weekend so weekend are a play it by ear kinda thing

ima keep cutting out dairy as much as posbbile and ima keep drinking lots of fluid to keep me hydrated

my exercise all dpends on the day on how much i work and on how tired of weak i am. bu ti am always on my feet at work soim burning cals dong that but ima try and go to the gym at elast twice a week and take walks when its not raining(its always raining here)


  1. its actually good to sleep in your bra. especially if you lose weight rapidly because then it helps keep its shape...well at least thats what i read ^__^

    you said your gonna stay away from dairy but you ate ice cream, if ice cream is a weakness for you, they make non-dairy, gluten-free ice cream replacement frozen desserts =) theres RiceDream, Turtle Mountain, Swedish Glace and Tofutti. its like sorbet but it comes in chocolate and vanilla and a couple other "ice cream" flavors. just thought id let ya know and maybe help you out =)

  2. yeah i have dairy few ice cream just sometimes i let myself ahve a lil tread of nomral ice cream
    its hard to cut out all dariy rigth away casue there is dairy in nearly everything
    but i try