11/12/10

so i got pics for u guys today. ive been up since 3am so i got bored and u know gotta keep teh mind buys. i dont have an outfit pic though cause we arent going out tonite hes not making me eat dinner so i'll prob just dress ocmfy since we are staying in but we are supppsldy going out tomm so i will post apic of my outfit tomm.

so first off we got pics of me. i dont htinki lookne skiinier i think i look fatter and grosser and just ew im 102 lbs as off today and that is just so fat and huge and gross and i relaly have to stop eating so damn much i just wanna stop eating all together. so we got me laying flat on my back, front view, side wiew and then my back.







and then we have teh collages i made when i coudldnt sleep this morning i made 3 of them. u shoudl of seen my bed after it was jsut covered in magazinesand clippings nad just a disaster






so like i said above ive been up since 3 am i only sleep 4-5 hours anite sometiems less but nomrally its about 4 hours and that 4 hours is never like a good 4 hours i cant sleep comfortablly im always tossing and turning or waking up its hell but im use to it and the permanent dark cirlces under my eyes just say that but hey i learned to function n that lil amount of sleep. well i just layed there fro about anhour listening to my ipod theni took some pics and watched some tv aroun 5 i got up turned the tv on and got my mags and paper and scissors and glue andmade my coallges did that til about 730am then i read one chapter of the fic im reading.

at 8am i took my mom to the bank and then we went shopping like normal. she got me all my ingreients for i could make more of my tomato salsa soup which i did imade it today andmy 2 containers of it are sitting nicely in the fridge downstairs god i love soup. she alos got me bananas, 2 boxes of v8 soup and this huge bag of twizzler jolly rancher mix. she feelsabout tha i cant eat the candy that she buys so she buys me stuff i cane at and since the halloween candy is on sale i get alot of it so now in my room i got trocial fun size starburst, oringal fun saize starburst, fun size skittles, fun size pull and peel twizzlers, fun size cherry twizzles, fun size flat jolly ranchers, and dum dums. and yeah they are all in seperate bags seperated by brand yes i know im a ocd freak u love me neway. ima try adn apss some off on my sis when she comes home for the wkd cause i dont want all the candy in my room i guess the only good thing is that its eatiher low fat or no fat so yeah bright side there.

so i got a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders today found out that i am finally getting my unemplyment benefits they depoisted the money in my account all the back pay since ive been filling since september but as u know i got denied then had to applea had to talk to a judge and then wait well today i got all the notices for the weeks that i was owed so yes. i gave mom the money she gave me for the credit card bills so now i dont owe her nemore. and i took sme money out for i have some money inmy waller. got myself a 20 ounce hot green tea while i was out and got my mom a milkshake as well.

so now i have money i can pay my bills and buy my own food and jsut not have to worry and if i get that job at oldnavy then id b even better off cause u can still collent and work part time at the same time and i really need the extra money i really need to get my credit cards paid off i hate how high they are ugh. but ims o happy that they gave me my money and they finally admitted that i deserved it and they owed me it so yay for that god i felt so much better when my mom walked up shes like i think its good niews cause she had like 6 things from them 5 of them saying that the depoiseted the money and the other saying when i had to claim them again.

i got my crunches down already today i didnt go tot he gym cause i nomrally dont on friday but tomm is suppose to b very nice surpirsinly so i will prob go for a long walk.

i didnt eat or drink nething til 1pm today i would of kept going but my head started to pound really bad so i knew i needed something.

food log
*sf jello peach-40
*apple-60
*3 tootsie rolls-32.4
*1 pull and peel fun size twiizzler-40

drinks
*32 ounce hot green tea
*liter of water
*cup chiken broth-10

and ima make 2 bottles of water with crystal light mix shortly i love that mix

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beskinny-yeah iknow that could happen im kinda hoping i have a full time job by then though i hate working retail but i have to do it right now and jsut keep my fingers crossed that i find a fullt ime job soon

bellaana-ha machine thats a new one. my mom is just nuts im use to it trust me everything was all good today

broken-thats just how my parents are crazy and insane but hey what am i gonna do about that im an exericse addcit i have to work out as much as i do no matter how tired i am

happiness in on the outside- i do cover it i follow the directions when i make it ijsut have no luck and yeah my moms a riot ha crazy ass and i just do cardio and then crunches at home im not much of a weight person never have been i likemy cardio. welld duh of course u feel calmer and better sex does do that i love readng urs as well stay strong hunny

mich- idid cover it but it still decided to explode but hey what the hellaww thanx hun i just like to layer things i like to b al il diferent o keep reading it gets better the beginning was slow for me as well and ur the same as me u read like 5 different books at once its nice to know im not the only who does that

skinny_el-o i get cramps with them and if i take tomuch i get insanely sick thats what i get for abusing them in the past bu the tea is gentler then the pills i just drank to much yestrday so it hurt really bad thanx hun i just hope i get a job soon im going nuts

deseperee de maigir-o it really is u haveno idea