Monday, November 1, 2010


so i just went into the bathroom to purge my breakfast i know im crazy losing my mind completely breakfast was just some dry special k out of the box and afew tootsie rolls not an all out binge but i walked in to the bathroom clamy and went to purge my stomach had other ideas though due to the tootise rolls ugh milk i had a huge BM and when i went to purge i coudlnt get nething up i try not to force it to much cuase i know its bad for my heart so after 3 tries if i cant get enthing up ijust give up so yeah i didnt get enthing up.

dont u guys just love how i say ima stop purging but then i go and do it neway yeah hyprocrite sue me
i purged yesterday day i ate some choc and of course im not suppose to eat choc and it made me feel really sick but i was trying to ignore and not purge and i was laying ther and ijust coudlnt doit so i purged it back up.

its making me so weak its hard to function again cause im getting weak now dont get me wrong i love being weak but purging weak and starving weak r different weakiness
i love starving weak purging weak i hate
i was so outof it last nite after my purge then sitting out in the fucking cold for hour and half handing out candy i ended up falling asleep at 9pm no thats saying something i have insomnia i dont sleep much butyeah layed down and didnt wake up again til 1am and tehn ijust tossed and turned in and out of sleep til 6 when ijust said fuck it and got up its 740 am now.

i got my fucking appeal hearing today for my unemplyment o joy fucking shot me now please cause this is getting fucking ridc ugh. so i gotta find the number and call then around 815 and then wait around by myphone til they call me back lovely.

i wann ago tothe gym today i need to work out majoring i need to work off all the food i have eaten int he past couple days purged or n purge even though ipurge if eel like all the cals are absorbed neway so i gotta work them off

i'll update later porb about the rest of my day

acka11- o i know to rehyrate after ima seasoned pro at it and imnot proud of it but i always have powerade 0 in my fridge and i just bought the crystal light fitness mix as well

becuaseilovewhoicanbecome- well mayb that will b good for u then u can break the cycle

mich-yeah yeah im a traitor o fucking well hahah :) ok good im no the only one who cant eat a sandwhich the right way

skinny_el- thank hun is a vicious cycle that im stuck on so i will deal with the consewuences

sarah-thanx hunny

dolcecaramel-its a good thinkt hat u stopped its really addicitn gan di hate myself evertime i do it but icant stop so

1 comment:

  1. I hate purge weak too. And if only chocolate wasn't so frigging tempting, but then again its halloween so everyone is probly going way more OTT.

    Good luck at the hearing
    xx claude