so i just went into the bathroom to purge my breakfast i know im crazy losing my mind completely breakfast was just some dry special k out of the box and afew tootsie rolls not an all out binge but i walked in to the bathroom clamy and went to purge my stomach had other ideas though due to the tootise rolls ugh milk i had a huge BM and when i went to purge i coudlnt get nething up i try not to force it to much cuase i know its bad for my heart so after 3 tries if i cant get enthing up ijust give up so yeah i didnt get enthing up.
dont u guys just love how i say ima stop purging but then i go and do it neway yeah hyprocrite sue me
i purged yesterday day i ate some choc and of course im not suppose to eat choc and it made me feel really sick but i was trying to ignore and not purge and i was laying ther and ijust coudlnt doit so i purged it back up.
its making me so weak its hard to function again cause im getting weak now dont get me wrong i love being weak but purging weak and starving weak r different weakiness
i love starving weak purging weak i hate
i was so outof it last nite after my purge then sitting out in the fucking cold for hour and half handing out candy i ended up falling asleep at 9pm no thats saying something i have insomnia i dont sleep much butyeah layed down and didnt wake up again til 1am and tehn ijust tossed and turned in and out of sleep til 6 when ijust said fuck it and got up its 740 am now.
i got my fucking appeal hearing today for my unemplyment o joy fucking shot me now please cause this is getting fucking ridc ugh. so i gotta find the number and call then around 815 and then wait around by myphone til they call me back lovely.
i wann ago tothe gym today i need to work out majoring i need to work off all the food i have eaten int he past couple days purged or n purge even though ipurge if eel like all the cals are absorbed neway so i gotta work them off
i'll update later porb about the rest of my day
acka11- o i know to rehyrate after ima seasoned pro at it and imnot proud of it but i always have powerade 0 in my fridge and i just bought the crystal light fitness mix as well
becuaseilovewhoicanbecome- well mayb that will b good for u then u can break the cycle
mich-yeah yeah im a traitor o fucking well hahah :) ok good im no the only one who cant eat a sandwhich the right way
skinny_el- thank hun is a vicious cycle that im stuck on so i will deal with the consewuences
dolcecaramel-its a good thinkt hat u stopped its really addicitn gan di hate myself evertime i do it but icant stop so