11/3/10

so in an effort to save myself some gas money i decided to go for a run today instead of going tot he gym. now i love to run im a runner and running is alway smy go to exercise but i cant do itmuch cause of my leg and now the chest pains. but neway im from new jersey and if ur in jersey or have been here this time of the year u know how chilly the air is which makes ur lungs hurt and it so much harder to breathe.

i gave my mom a good laugh this morning though when i walked downstairs in my running clohtes u know me im werid with layers but i had on a long sleeve shirt then an old cheering tshirt on over top theni had some black cheering shorts underneath i had capri length gry leggines then of coruse i had my knee hihg socks on he just laughed idk i though i looked cute but whatever. i put my brace on after much struggle cause the fucking velcro is going on it an dits doc issued so im fucked cause if it goes then there goes my exercise days its keeps my knee in place and ihave no desire to ever go through that pain or that surgru again.

but neway the plan was to run 3 miles which is usuallly nuttin for me but yeah with the cold air my fucking hurting leg(the grinding is a bitch) and my recent trip down mia lane i only made it 1.3 miles b4 i had to stop. i wanted to keep going trust me i wanted to keep going but everything was getting so fuzzy and my head was spinning my chest hurt so bad and i knew it was only minutes until i would hurl and pass out in the middle of the street so i stopped and just bent over grabbing my chest from the pain and trying to force air into my lungs. now thats hard to begin with i have trouble breathing just laying down sometimes. but hey at least i ran something go di miss running and i will get a 3 mile run in sometime this week. well the 1.3 mile run burnt 101 cals :) then i just walked al il willin gmy head to get uncloudy and my chest to stop hurting that burnt 66 cals so all together i burned 167 cals today.

since garabage day is tomm i decided to clean out my fridge and food bin. i got a habit of not eating the food my mom buy sme now when i buy the food i make sure i eat it cause fuck its my money that i waste. so i went thru my lil mini fridge threw out: container of asparagus(i was pissed about tha ti was gonna have it for dinner but it was all fuzzy), my container of carrot and celery(it was all choppe dup and mixed together i ate most of it just not all), lil jello, rice and pea mixture( i have a habit of mixing 2 different things together in a bowl and just eating it there was only liek 1 serving left in it but i jsut didnt want it).
then i went thru my food bin my dried fruit wasall really hard so that got thrown away and pretzels that i forgot i had in there cause mom always buys me a big bag of pretzels.

i organized everything the way i wanted it :) lov emy organization. in my food bin i for all my canned and boxed soups, rice bran crackers, animal crackers and teddy grahmans(all bagged in individual servings), dried banana crisps(individual bags as well), oatmeal, tuna(i hate tuna but sometimes i just want it weird i know) and some fruit bars and fruit snacks.
the only thing not in my fridge is my homemade soup i keep those downstaris cause i know no1 will eat those.

i have had my own fridge for ahiel now since i usually buy my own food and if i keep it downstairs then my garabage disposal of a dad will eat it but neway finished product. oo i did make 3 things of sugar free jello thats whats in the containers

fridge




food bin(also has some drinks in there that my mom bought me awhile ago but i refuse to drink cause there are cals in them)


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lou-thanx hun idt thre will ever b good days for me just ones that dont suck as much

sarah-im trying to take care of myself thanx hun

want-god i havent been to the dentist since iwas in high school after 8 years of braces, idk 2 mouth surgeries, all baby teeth pulled i never want to go back i know i will have to eventaully and i bet they will prob b able to tell of my purging ugh but good for u for not doing it nemore

mich-ddint acutally go to the gym saved msyelf some gas money and went for a run
yeah noraml is overrated and i never wanna b normal ijust want mia to go away the urge to throw upt evrything u eat ugh hate it i just wanna starve