Tuesday, November 9, 2010


so im having one of my i dont feel like seeing neone days an din hiding in my room. these periods coudl go on for days were i just hide and dont leave the house but i dont let that happen this time im allowing myself to hide today then i will force myself out of th house tomm to go to the gym. then i can hide the rest of the day but gotta go to gym tomm need a workout.

mom gave me $3 for i can go for a walk and getmyself a drink but i dont want to i just wanna hide in my room and not c or talk to neone i only leav emy room to pee, get somemore to drink and the occasinal food thats it im not leaving the thosue today i dont care what ppl think i am staying in my room withmy laptop and tv and jjsut hiding.

ima read alot, watch tv, work on my site, make some bracelets, mayb a collage or 2 and i need to do crunches my stomach looks like shit atm i need it flat again.

yesterdya i feel asleep early thats y i didnt post i cant make it all the way thru the day nemore i can make it til 5 somesimte 7 but then i feel like shit i feel tired and weak and shaky and just like i cant stay awake or alive nemore so wheni start feeling off i lay down and usally sleep for like 2 hours which makes me unable to sleep at nite so i toss and turn alot. i dont sleep much as it is so if i nap during the day im screwed at nite its a sucky cycle but its been one that ive been stuck in for years.

but i figured out that i can eat dairy in little quanities and im ok it wont make me sick. lik ei can have 1 scoop of ice cream or 1 cookie or a lil choc and im fine well it hurts the fuck out of my stomach but it doenst make me sick or throw up in fact i havent thrown up since tuesday so its been a hole week yay go me. but as soon as i eat to much dairy its all down hill from there and im really sick

but i did find out that tootise rolls dont make me sick at all mayb a lil stoamch [ain but not much at all so ive been eating them well ive been tpractially living on them i will have a lil nutrionist food and then the rest will b tootise rolls i relaly gotta stop that though gotta stop eatign the candy its making me fat

i gave my mom a nice laugh this morning she though i was crazy casue i was making soup for breakfast thing morning shes like ur really making soup for breakfast im like yeah and shes like really im lik e yeah ma shes like ok if ppl can have eggs for dinner then u can have soup for breakfast.

i also snet out my application for teachers aide yesterday so gotta wait to hear from that and i should b hearing about myunemplyment soon like i had the hearing witht he judge on the phone a week ago so the letter should b coming soon.

soo are today. liter and half water, mug of calm tazo tea, mug of herbal lax tea, chicken noodle soup and way to many tootise rolls(addcitvie fuckers)

i already finished one fan fic today and i updated my site al il now im watching supernatural

ooo i finished torment by lauren kate yesterday as well u guys have to read the series teh 3rd book comes out summer of 2011 its amazing so addictive u have no idea
bee-ur welcome hun i love following blogs

sarah-thanx hun and yes it was fun

anorexic medic- c i dont c myself as storng i just get thru what i have too and then go hide inmy room but htanx hunny

mich- my cheekbones really i dont thinkt hey are out that much and svu is the best really ne law and order is good lobe wathcing marathons of it they dont make me sick idjust dont c the poitn of 3d movies at all its like u have to pay extra money for the glasses and u have to wear them cause if u dont the screen is fuzzy like wtf and most of th movies they make in 3d dont need 3d ugh so annoying

beskinny-i wish i had meds for it mayb it would b easier to function but i guess sometimes meds dont work thanx hunny


  1. I get those days too, where I just want to be a hermit and hide. One of these days I'm going to pack up my belongings and just disappear into the mountains. I can't wait. :D I think you need days to yourself every now and then. 'Tis good for you!


  2. on days where u wanna jsut hide, try doing something productive
    it always makes me feel a bit better knowing i got to burn some cals or jsut did something. like clean room, put up pics, search new thinspo, think about the secrets of the universe ;)

    when u find the answers let me know!!! :P

    btw doctors went great, they couldnt do the blood work or physical, so i jsut got tested for sti's and pregnancy like usual :) didnt even take my weight!

    -happiness <3

  3. Hi darling, thanks for commenting on my blog posts, I love reading them and they always cheer me up and make me feel strong again.
    You look gorgeous in your picture by the way and I am totally jealous at how tiny your body is!
    I think you're really doing so great. I have days when I don't want to leave the house either, I don't want to see anybody or talk to anybody or feel like I exist, I know how you feel, I hope you feel a bit better now though.
    Oh and your mam sounds adorable. :)
    Stay strong skinny minny.