Monday, November 29, 2010


so i woke up this morning feel extremely exhausted even more exhausted on the days that i dont get ne sleep at all. and i acutally sleep last nite i was laying down around 2am watching the food network and nest thing i now im jumping awake at 8am idk if i passed out caus ei never lseep like that an di wasnt rested at all not one bit

i walked downstairs and mom takes one look at me and says u look pissed im like im not pissed mom shes like u look mad no tired u just dont look good u didnt sleep much again did u im like mom when do i ever acutally sleep shes like yeah true

she my mom has sleeping issues as well they arent nearly as bad as mine she just takes naps during the day and then she wonders y she only sleeps a few hours at nite well mom hmmm i wonder mayb if u didnt sleep during the day u would sleep at nite hmm yeah think about i

my eyes look even wrose then yesterday if more puffy and red and i swear the bags under them are getting bigger and bigger im never going to look rested cause really i never am acutally rested.

went tot he gym again today :) she my gym is an old movie theater each of the cardio machines hace a tv on it and they kept one of the movie rooms and have machines in there as well with a big screem everyday they have a different movie playing in the room and one a certain channel of the tv's. the same movie just plays on repeat the hole day. if its a movie i like i will work out til i get to c the hole thing. today the movie was twilight as u all know i am a big twilight saga junky so u know that i just had to watch it and all of it no matter what. i did start to feel bad from working out for so long my legs started to hurt really bad and i was starting to get alil dizzy cuase my heart was just working way to hard but i did it i watched the hole movie and owrked out. i spent my time on the elly :) did 2 seperate workouts on it cause i had to in order to watch the hole thing so i did:
*65 mins on elly level 5- 460 cals burned
*45 min on elly level 5- 317 cals burned

which is a total of 777 cals burned ha for some reason ijust love that number mayb itsjust cuase its the same number repeated idk but i like it.

i messed up today and ate to much yup u ready here it is
*low sugar maple and brown sugar oatmeal
*kaiser roll with butter
*salad(lettuce mix, 1 kosher pickle, 4 cherry tomatos, 2 and half breaded chicken stips, italian dressing)
*2 huge chunk of brownies with ice cream and strawberry syrup on top

the chicken strips were frozen so ijust cooked them in the microwave fuck me for eating so much i gotta stop that and i gotta stop witht he dairy its fucking killing me the stomach pain the nasousa the acid reflux im allergic to dairy i shouldnt b eating it but i crave it so much causeim allergic to it and i avoid it some days i can avoid it so eaisly and the some days its jsut all i crave and all i want ugh

i gotta find some dairy free recipes some tastey ones i love my fruit and veggies but sometime i just want something different so if neone has some good recipes that dont involve dairy send them my way o and i dont eat red meat only meat i eat is chicken. and it has to b low sodium i cant have alot of sodium(blood pressure) and can have white bread(hurts to much) or butter(that fucking kills). so if ne1 has ne recipes that u know match that strict diet plan thing send them my way u can leave them in a comment or u can email me at is also my msn so u can talk to me as well)

work hast called me yet c the schedule gets emailed to u and my email said that iw as off all this week and i asked them about it they said they would look into it and call me so im waiting for their call. so since they havent called yet the plan is to go to the gym in the morning somtime for an hour at least if there is a good movie on then longer for i can wathc it and then go to grocery store i wanna get myself some safe food. mom got me more lettuce and cherry tomatos today so i dont need that but im planning on getting:
*more canned soup(not in the mood to cook my homemade soup so going to buy canned low sodium ones)
*precooked chicken strips(for my salads ive been wanting chicken salads for awhile now so)
*walnuts(pre sliced candied or normal depends on cals)
*bunch of frozen veggies
*fruit(not sure what kind yet
*yogurt(gonna look for non dairy kind)

an dmayb a few other things i will look around and c what catches my eye i usually just get a basket but mayb i will get a cart depending on how tired i am ifim to tired i def wont b able to carry around a heavy basket.

i also took laxs today my stomach just felt of bloated and gross so i took them. i got the generic maximum strength walmart kind. it said take 2 pills so naturally i took 6 lol. theya re working already and it hasnt even been 6 hours yet normally laxs take abuot 10 hours to work for me but this time it started working at 5 and hlaf hours. the cramps are lessenign now though soi had one nice good big movment and then one other lil one so we will see how the nite goes.

i skipped dinner so i will prob have a snack b4 bed if i really need soemthing its usually jsut some bread or some chips i hate eating late but i seem to b doing it alot lately i gotta stop that.

i wanna b 95 lbs by xmas and if ima meet that goal i have to start getting really strict with myself and get this weight off of me already ugh im so fat and gross

hope everyone is having a good day i love u all

sarah-yeah u are right there but its impossible to please them im sure they would b more excepting if we went to church but my dad ddint raise us that way and i think they resent us for that cause they are very religious

desesperee de maigrer- omg yes please can i please have some recipies i will love u forever,. i get alot of stoamch achesno matter what my stomach is all fucked up

beautifulbones-thanx hun we can both do it

mich-yeah i dont get it either trust me i dont


  1. ugh I get horrible undereye circles too its so bad. good luck finding recipes!

  2. That's awesome the machines at your gym have their own tv's. I need to join a gym, but there's not reasonably priced ones around here. :(

    Lol your mom sounds like mine--no matter how neutral I think my face is, I always get the "why are you so angry?"

    I didn't know Shutter Island was a book--I'll have to get it.

    Hoping to be 95 by Christmas too. We can do it!! <3

  3. Your gym sounds SO cool. And I'm allergic to milk to good luck avoiding it but it is also really helpful to be able to just drink some milk and have to vomit.