Sunday, November 28, 2010


so i acutally got osme sleep last nite it seems like every saturday i just crash its likemy body just cant handle it nemore and i sleep whihci guess is good but it doesnt help much my eys are still puffy and red i still got huge bags undermy eyes they are just permanet sincei never sleep enough and my eyes are still tired and they hurt

but i got some sleep last nite now back to barely not sleeping what a fun life i live fuck i hate insomnia its a bitch an evil bitch but of course it wont let me go so i will just deal with it ive dealt with it for so many years now whats a few more

even when i do sleep i never sleep thrut the nite and i mean never i always wake up mutliple times a nite but insteaad of waking up ever 30mins to an hour i sleep for 2-3 hours then wake up its just an endless cycle i envy the ppl who acutally sleep they ahve no idea how hard it is to b tired all the time to just push urself to make it thru the day cause ur body is just so tired and all it wants to do is sleep but it cant its not a simple thing ppl are like just lay down close ur eyes and sleep but i cant do that ive enver been able to do that its just not how im wired my breain is always thinking constanly going i cant just sleep never been able to just sleep ugh

but neway had to go visit my aunt and nano today i only go visit them when my sis ishome from school cause we go together its better to go in groups if u go by urself they really double team u but if its a group its not as horrible well its still horrible just not as bad

we visited for an hour and in that hour it was just horrid its like we are never good enough for them cause we dont go to church we dont eat when we go there like they always say u girls should know better dont eat b4 u come for we can feed u but we always eat b4 we go cause we dont want to b feed well me in praticalur at least and its like every time we go gotta remind them that i cant have nething acidic or dairy an di dont eat meat well just chicken. always get picked on everytime thats y i never go up but i got my visit out of the way today so im good for a few months i hope well a month at least sinceim sure we will have to c them on christmas ugh thats gonna b fun.

i ate way to many donut holes today i shoudlnt of eaten them at all they have dairy in them and its killing me they didnt make me throw up just bad stomach ache and very nasouses and my acid reflux has been thru the roof horrid all day today i hate it i just want it to stop already im tired of it the constant uncomfrable feeling in my throat and chest and then the wet burbs and just ugh i hope none of u ever get acid reflux and if u have it my heart goes out to u cause im suffering right there with u

i went tot he gym today the first time since the 16th yes its been that long i was just so busy with work and tired from not sleeping that ijust didnt make it there i wanted to i wasjust to exhausted but i went today and i did 65 min on elly i was so tired while doing it but i made it thru the workout ended up burning 475 cals so thats good

i have to go grocery shopping this week im outof my salad stuff and almost out of my fruit so iw ill def have to make a trip to the grocery store some time ugh ihate the grocery store.

well im off to read and do crunches i feel so fat and gross adn ive been slackingo n my cruncnhes
i will update my book page though i have too

acka11-thanx hun and he really is an di def will watch thema ll love it

beskinny-omg u have no idea how crazy it was it was like ppl everywhere everytime u turned around someone was there and asking ur questions and making a mess of the clothes that u just folded and organized ugh ppl

bellaana-i am exhausted im always exhausted but im ok i promise hun im fine and i will b fine yes my check willl b good i cant wait to get it idk when exactly i get paid though new job and all but its direct depoisted so i will have to wait and c love u crazy


  1. Aw, I'm glad that you got SOME sleep at least!
    And yeah, sometimes it can be so hard to please relatives. :/ It sucks, but you can't choose your family.

  2. I'm glad you were able to sleep a bit last night! I always feel the same way on Saturday/Sunday - after I come home from work, I just crash!

    As always, thanks for the encouragement :) No more donut holes for you missy, I don't want you to have tummy aches! I get the same way if I eat too much wheat - if I have a bowl of pasta, I have the most horrrrrrible stomach cramps and it's just terrible! No food is worth that! IF you ever need any dairy-free recipes, just ask :) I'm a vegan, so everything I make is dairy free!

  3. I know what you mean, insomnia sucks a$$!
    Don't worry dear, I know you have control, and I lose mine alot sometimes, and my stomach is bloated and I hate myself. I'm with you though, and you're not alone. <3 You can do this, stay strong and beautiful.
    xoxo - Ryssa.

  4. Hope you're able to get some more sleep. Insomnia is the worst.I don't get it 'cause we're obviously totally exhausted--why can't our brains just go to sleep?! I don't remember what it's like to just fall asleep naturally and sleep the whole night.

    I hope your stomach feels better. Munchkins are a killer.<3