11/13/10

outfit



now my hair i did the hole braid going across like a headband thing thought i would share it with u guys




sop last nite i had to eat burger king i though he wasnt gonna make me wat dinner cause he wen tot the football game and i thought he was just gonna eat there and then i wouldnt have to eat dinner then yeah i was wrong he wanted to go to bk and get soemthing to eat soi had to get soemthing as well he got me the tendergrill chicken sandwhich meal. i was suppose to eat 3/4 of it but i could only get half in b4 it started hruting to much and yeah it took me 45minutes to juts eat that lil bit he kept saying to take my time that there was norush. but im like its just somuch food i dont eat this much i havent eaten this much im awhile hes like r u not eating again(he hates when i completely stop eating) im like no ive just been eating soup. hes like now that u got ur money u can do ur own shopping and buy ur own food and u can eatmore and different things im like yeah

but imnot gonna do tha ti like eating my soup yeah i'll get salad and veggies and fruit but imnot gonna go and start eating alot more stuff hes crazy to think that

my goal is to be 95 lbs by xmas so i really gotta buckle down and strat being really strict with myself i have been eating way to much junk lately its pathetic

i was still 102 lbs thismorning ugh i really hate that number ive been seeing that number way tto much lately

i went for a walk today and i didnt feel well it was kinda crazy and scary i wasjust like walking around ina haze my legs just felt like lead and they were so weak an shaky and i coudlnt concentrate at all i kept like swaying when i was walking an di coudlnt walk in a straight line ibet the ppl who drove by thought i was drunk or soemthing idk. buti cut my walk short cause of that usually i walk to the store get a drink then take the long way to the park then walk at the park nthen walk home but today i jsust walked to the store got my dirnk and apple slices and then turned around and walked home.

i brought extra money with me so that was a good thing so i coudl get the apple slices they were precut and everything and only 50 cals and i thought they would help me feel better and they did a lil i ate them on my walk home they made my chest hurt a lil though. i also got a 20 ounce hot green tea as well.

my sis is home this wkd form scchool and shes fucking crazy buti love her to death she juts walks into my room randomly and lays down love her and then shes all jumpng around taking pics god i wish i had her energy. she tripped over my scale and goes hi scale i wont b stepping on u netime soon. yeah she gained a lil weight at college not much barely ne but she wants to lose it but she justlike food shes crazy like me like we are both nuts but i got the real bad food issues. but im so jealous of her hair its so long almost down to her waist i wish mine would grow out that long but it doesnt it stops at a certain length then jstu falls out ugh but whatever nuttin i can do about that i guess

so i ate way to much today well way to much junk at least i had one piece of choc, tootsie rollsa nd starburst ugh i gotta stop eating like that. i did also have a banana, apple ,slices and a small salad.

the boy is coming over later and we are going to watch the flyers game :) and then go out to eat so i gotta eat dinner again today ugh i really am getting tired of food.
my sotmach is getting so fat and gorss i hate it enough of this ima lose weight img get skinny and perfect and fragile and broken :)

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alice-yeah my walls are covered in posters, collages, pic i colored, and the computer backgrounds i made ima run out of room eventually and then ima b mad

beskinny-thanx hun i hop ei get the job as well and then i can collect and work and get myself above water

mylifeisanepicfail-thanx hun and they are nuttin to b jealou about they coudl b better

happiness is ont he outside-yeah im addcited to my curnches i wish my stomach was better though it still looks huge to me though. and im gald ur gonna get help u desrve to b happy and clean and yay for kid tunes

sarah0 i just do alot of crucnhes normal ones wit feet flat on the ground, ones were ur hold ur bent legs up at a 90 degree angle and then ones were ur legs are straight up int he air i do at least 1000 a nite

marsh.sarah-yeahim not happy were im at i gotta keep gong gotta lose more weight ugh i have tomany credit cards im with ya there wish i never go tthem but i needed themt o build credit for i could buy my car. i was so stressed out for while like since i lost my jump its just a big weight lifeted off my shoulders imnot really happy just not stressed im always in constatn depressed state