8/11/10

ok so first off b4 i start my not making sense rambling i have to thank a few lovely and great ppl

sick b*tch -omg so u know exaclty how i feel then with the whole dairy issue god its fucking ridc and it hurts so fucking damn badi hate it so much. thanx for the luck idk if im acutally going to go complelty vegan i think i might just start out with cutting out as much dairy as i can and then i will work on the hole no eggs no chicken thing. i dont eat red meat only chicken and i kindalike my grilled chicken we will c how it goes though

ash -thanx hun its nice to know that some1 else suffers like i do even if mine is worse. is urs bought on my acidic foods or dairy or combo of both?

thinxXxspo -thanx for th the suggestion hun i will look into it def. the dairy thing might b an issue though since dairy is the main reason y i was thinking vegan dairy and me just done get along what so ever nemore but thanx i will def do some research though.

because i love who i can become -well congrats on not binging hun thats a great and hospital? y hospital do u work in one or sometihng? and yay for gym what kind of workout do u do? yes i def need to cut out the junk fucking sweettooth is the damn devil

believe&:&lose -eyah they def make it more expeinse cause less ppl eat it and they know the ppl that do eat it will spend the money on it u know what i mean. and my sotre doesnt have a big health food section u know small town in all but i will def check it out next time mayb i can find somethings on sale. omg im so fucking proud of u as well for not eating that cake yay for that hun

ok time for the rambling

i dont understand y everyone is so concerned with my health though like i know im always tired and nasous but isnt that like nomral its normal for me. dou guys acutally feel good during the day like im always constantly tired and sore isnt that how everyone feels though?

ugh today bad bad bad food day ate way to much already fucking cookies ima just have to go cold turkey from those i think cause its either eat none or fucking eat way to many of them ugh. i didnt eat my lunch at work today cause my acid reflux was killing me so much i took one bit of my fruit bowl and i nearly threw up so i threw it out and just didnt eat it. i only worked til 1 today i was going to go to the gym today but i felt way to nasous so ijust tanned after work 12 minutes of heat o god it felt so damn good. i turn the fans off for i can feel all the heat on my body

when igot home i decided to tryan deat a lil something cause i was shakey from not eating my lunch so i ate the rest of my cherries now i have to get more i love them and 8 of them are only 30 cals and then i fucked up went downstairs made tea and ate some chips and the last 3 slices of my 25 cal cheese ugh thats not gonna help my acid reflux ata ll

then i freaked out mainly on m and my other ana friend im always freaking out on one of them but im ok now crisis averted i fixed it. i sat on my floor in front of my lil mini fridge with a bag and threw some things out. i threw out the starwberries and cantolope that made me want to puke at work(i keep one container of cantoalpe though) then i threw out an old nectarine and grapes, and jello cups so that made me feel better.

and then i have a box downstaris of all my other food that doesnt need to b in the fridge so icarried that out to the kitchen and took everything out and orgainsed it all and also threw things out. i threw out the rest of my speical k crackers, all my trail mix(way to high in cals y did i buy it), my old stale 2 bags of rice cakes, prunes(y did i buy those dk) um and other stuff i dont remember all of it exaclty,

but its weird how does some1(me) hate food so much i acutally hate eating it brings me no joy what so ever but how do i have so much damn food ugh after that lil freak out i organized my food

i took out all my different granola bars, nature valley bars, and fruit bars(yes app i got alot of bars damn didtn realise it) but neway i took them all out of the boxes and put them in a big freezer bag ziplock bag. so the granola bars are in one bag. then i took all my tea bags out of the boxes and put them in their own bag. i took my oamteal and wrotethe cals on the pakcage then put them in a bag with my sliced almonds yeah weird combo i know so sue me ha. k then i have like lik 50 cal fruit snacks i bought like 3 boxes of them awhile a god cause they were on sale so they went in their own bag as well. my dried fruit was laready in their own lil bags labled cal wise and in a huge bag as well. so yeah after that i realzed i had like 3 half filled bags o fapples so i made them fit into 2 bags.

also on the bottom of the box i found sugar free jello boxes so if ugred i would make one so i heated up the water got a container and made th mixed fruit one the hole box is only 40 cals gotta love sugar free right so that is now in my fridge

so since i have so many apples and granola bars i figured i could do one apple and granola bar for breakfast most days until they are gone

im still planning on cutting out most dairy at least since that is the main trigger to my acid reflux so lets hope that works out right

ok i think im done rambling i think idk mayb i will ramble more later u know me i like to talk