Thursday, August 19, 2010


so appartenlty im not qualifed to do clerical work/filing at hopstial i applied to a few of them like 2-3 weeks ago depedning an di havent heard nething back well one emailed me yesterday saying " that i had an impressive resume but hey have other candiates that have more education and experince in the field they tahnked me for applying though" but really lets c ive been working sinc ei was 18 i have an assocites degree in applied science accouting management and i dont qualify to work as a secretary isnt that just insane like ugh i usderstand they want experience but how am i suppose to have experince if no one will take a chance on me and try me out for i can get experice ugh america fukcing sucks ass

then to top it all of ugh the new girl that we are training ugh. di my best friend and coworker is leaving the end of august for school and she found a diffrent better paying job so the ass of a boss hired some1 else and we all have been training for nad ugh shes not ready to b on her own i dont even think she is right for the job. shes suppose to start the 29th and b good enough to b on her own and newsflash shes not not even close i most of explained the register to her 3 times yesterday and she still had questions like i know its alot ot learn but fuck its just rinign ppl up and yes we have alot more thing that we sell and no we dont have a scanner casue nuttin scans its all inthe computer already u just have to pull it up oo oo and to top that off she tool ike 6 days off at the end of september to go to ocm and then she took like 4 wkds off in a row in october(which means i will b working 4 weeks straight with out a day off cause instead of havingmy sundays off i will have to work cause she took off) then she calls me today saying that she got a call from a model agency and they want her to model on sat but shes suppose to work but shes like its just training and its a great opportunity to model im like dont tell me tell the owner and then one more thing she audtioned for antm which is great thats fine but she got a call back for next wkd when she is suppose to b working and she told them she would b there so that means she wont b wroking those days and has she told ne of this to the boss no and she better ugh ima have to talk to him tomm cause this is fucking ridc adnguess who will prob get in trouble for it me yes me cause app i get shit for everything but whatever i just give up i do cause theres no point in worrying about it

so after work i go to the gym i walk in and scan my card and one of the trainer worker guys is standing there hes like u coming on sat to our party. ok see sat is the2 yr anniversary of the gym so from 12-6pm they are having a party with free stuff, food and like raffles and shit. im llike i have to work hes like till when and where im like til 4 and i tell him where hes like o right acorss the bridge well u should come after we might still have free stuff adn food left im like i'll c what i can do and then he goes the gym will b open so u can work out too and ijust laugh

no i want to go workout on sat i rly do but idk how busy its going to b and i dont wanna have todeal with the crowds or nething usually sats there arent busy well not int he afternoon when i go at least so idk i guess we will c what happens that day

so i was chekcing my email today and app i signed up for a webmd news letter i acutally read this one and its about heart diesase and shit it was interesting its about 12 possible heart symptoms that u shouldnt ignore so i read it and ima post the bullet points for u gusy can c as well:

12 Possible Heart Symptoms Never to Ignore

Here are a dozen symptoms that may signal heart trouble.

1. Anxiety. Heart attack can cause intense anxiety or a fear of death. Heart attack survivors often talk about having experienced a sense of "impending doom."

2. Chest discomfort. Pain in the chest is the classic symptom of heart attack, and "the No. 1 symptom that we typically look for," says Jean C. McSweeney, PhD, RN, associate dean for research at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences College of Nursing in Little Rock and a pioneer in research on heart symptoms in women. But not all heart attacks cause chest pain, and chest pain can stem from ailments that have nothing to do with the heart.

Heart-related chest pain is often centered under the breastbone, perhaps a little to the left of center. The pain has been likened to "an elephant sitting on the chest," but it can also be an uncomfortable sensation of pressure, squeezing, or fullness. "It's not unusual for women to describe the pain as a minor ache," McSweeney says. "Some women say the pain wasn't bad enough even to take a Tylenol."

Women, more so than men, can also experience a burning sensation in their chest, rather than a pressure or pain. "Sometimes people make the mistake that the pain comes from a stomach problem," says Nieca Goldberg, MD, clinical associate professor of medicine at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York City and another expert on women's heart symptoms.

3. Cough. Persistent coughing or wheezing can be a symptom of heart failure -- a result of fluid accumulation in the lungs. In some cases, people with heart failure cough up bloody phlegm.

4. Dizziness. Heart attacks can cause lightheadedness and loss of consciousness. So can potentially dangerous heart rhythm abnormalities known as arrhythmias.

5. Fatigue. Especially among women, unusual fatigue can occur during a heart attack as well as in the days and weeks leading up to one. And feeling tired all the time may be a symptom of heart failure.

Of course, you can also feel tired or fatigued for other reasons. How can you tell heart-related fatigue from other types of fatigue?

"If you don't feel well and all the wind is knocked out of your sails, don't try to figure it out on the Internet or from a book," says Goldberg. "Wasting time is dangerous."

6. Nausea or lack of appetite. It's not uncommon for people to feel sick to their stomach or throw up during a heart attack. And abdominal swelling associated with heart failure can interfere with appetite.

7. Pain in other parts of the body. In many heart attacks, pain begins in the chest and spreads to the shoulders, arms, elbows, back, neck, jaw, or abdomen. But sometimes there is no chest pain -- just pain in these other body areas. The pain might come and go.

Men having a heart attack often feel pain in the left arm. In women, the pain is more likely to be felt in both arms, or between the shoulder blades.

8. Rapid or irregular pulse. Doctors say that there's nothing worrisome about an occasional skipped heartbeat. But a rapid or irregular pulse -- especially when accompanied by weakness, dizziness, or shortness of breath -- can be evidence of a heart attack, heart failure, or an arrhythmia. Left untreated, some arrhythmias can lead to stroke, heart failure, or sudden death.

9. Shortness of breath. People who feel winded at rest or with minimal exertion might have a pulmonary condition like asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). But breathlessness could also indicate a heart attack or heart failure.

"Sometimes people having a heart attack don't have chest pressure or pain but feel extremely short of breath," Goldberg says. "It's like they've just run a marathon when they haven't even moved." During a heart attack, shortness of breath often accompanies chest discomfort, but it can also occur before or without chest discomfort.

10. Sweating. Breaking out in a cold sweat is a common symptom of heart attack. "You might just be sitting in a chair when all of a sudden you are really sweating like you had just worked out," Frid says.

11. Swelling. Heart failure can cause fluid to accumulate in the body. This can cause swelling (often in the feet, ankles, legs, or abdomen) as well as sudden weight gain and sometimes a loss of appetite.

12. Weakness. In the days leading up to a heart attack, as well as during one, some people experience severe, unexplained weakness. "One woman told me it felt like she couldn't hold a piece of paper between her fingers," McSweeney says

u wanna know what the funny thing is well not funny but wahter u know what i mean i actually suffer from most of those things and i ginore them all the time espeically number 2 and 8 those are the wrose but i suffer from all of those on different occasions and i always ignore them always

food log:
*cup of blueberries-80
*10 grapes-20
*6 ounces carrots-60
*fruit snacks-50
*1/2 cup mango ice vanilla ice cream thingy-120
*green beans-90
*12 bites of fried potatoes-?

i will prob have some grapes later b4 i go to bed it helps my heart b calm enough for i can acutally get some sleep its been keeping me up alot lately

*2 lites water-0
*2 normal water bottles-0
*vitamin water 0-0
*3 cups weightless cranberry tea-9

*65 min elly-499 cals burned( iwent faster todayt hen i did yesterday)
*7,196 steps taken-176 cals burned

so ima finsih eating my green beans and drink my tea and read alil. theni have to clean up my room cause its a disaster. then i have to repaint my finger and toenails also cut them as well i wlike them long but once they start growing they break they are so brittle and weak so they are all jagged from breaking right now. im gong to paint them fuchsia chrome. i got the sally hanson color quick fast dry nail pen i love iti have itin black as well they are so easy to use i love it


  1. wow! i wonder if i had a heart attack then! i had all of those except swelling. i went to the hospital and they said they couldnt do anything of know what it was unless it was happening. pshh, i think he was just a lazy fucking ass! he never even checked me out himself and he sent a nurse to take my blood who didnt get even half the right amount he asked for AND they never gave me the results. but not like i wanna find out cuz the hospital scares me anyway, always was beside myself of being found out.

    hope you are ok health-wise hun, its scary to have unknown medical problems.

    that trainee/new worker you guys got sounds cRAppy! dam! i havent ever had a real job and i know id be better than her!

  2. Sucks about the job - I hope you have better luck next time! Unemployed for like 6 weeks now and I've only gone on 2 interviews. It's awful; we'll only get hired if we're over-qualified and willing to take half as much pay as we should. :(

  3. yeah the heart thing is scary but im use to it but still scary
    ha thinxxxpso u wanna come to jersey and work id rather have u working then the assfuck of a girl ugh

    mich- atleast u went on interviews i havent even got a call back for ne
    got i hate america