Saturday, August 14, 2010


thats the cover of the book if neone was interested i know they have a couple differetn ones like"skinny bitch bun in the oven" and "skinny bitch cookbook"
and other ones but thats the first one i believe well its the one im readng at least

ok so yesterday date nite it went pretty good i was still nasouses but not as bad as i have been it has a habit of sneaking up on me an dit did cause i didnt eat my bread in the monring but i had some at dinner so iguess that helped. but we went to outback steakhouse for dinner. they dont have ne good vegan things well ne vegan things at all and their salads are so high in cal so i got my nomral what i always get there grilled chicken on the barbie its grilled chciken and wit a side of steamed veggies and comes with bbq sauce. so at diner i ate

*1 small slice pumpernickle bread

*shared cheese fries with the boy

*all my steamed veggies(except one broccoli)

*half my grilled chicken

*few spoons of boys mashed potatoes

it took alot of effort to eat the chicken cause i just read that chapter in skinny bitch that day but i did it i knew i had to i wanted to buff so bad just thinking about waht was going in me but i think i did good. the boy got steak and wow was i nasouses when i saw that and he knew im like stop jsut stop showing me it its all red and gross and ew no ima throw up jut stop. hes like one day i will get u to eat red meat i laughed at him and just told him he was crazy and that that wouldnt happen.

we both fell asleep early last nite when we got home we were planning to go to the movies but he knew i wasnt feeling well so we just went home and slept. hes like their has to b something wrong with u ur always sick when u get insurnace ur going to the docs ur sick way to much.

today has been going good i decided to give myself a free day but its not really a free free day cause really im sitll counting cals but im letting myself eat junk if i want it u knwo what i mean. tomm im strating fresh since tomm is the start of a new week u know. but neway back to today i had to work from 1-4 today. at work i did

*payroll(yes had to pay everyone we get our chekcs on monday)

*vacummed the classroom, both locker rooms, dive side and tan side

it was a short work day so i didnt get much done and payroll took me forever well mainly cause i had to help ppl in between and thena client came in me and di us her as our counselor/ therapist. she is alwys htere for us adn always listens to us and helps us and in retruen she vents to us and we help her. shes older in her 40's but shes so nice and she understands and donest judge us of course she doenst know everything but we vent to her quite oftern. today i was telling her about skinny bitch and shes like i want to read it. so i gave her my copy casue really i cant read nemore of it right now so i leant it to her shes like i'll have it back to u in a week im like u better tell me howu like it. she also said i can use her for a reference on my job applications yay for that cause moslty jobs want 3 references and ive only been putting 2 cause i dont know 3 ppl but yay now i have 3

so after work i had to go back up to clinton for my phone cause yes its still being a major bitch assfuck so yeah. iw ent by myself today cause bro was busy and sis had plans so yeah id ont like going palces by myself but i did neway and it wasnt hard to get to i just hate driving 78 that high way is a bitch always accdients but there wasnt ne this time so yay and it was to busy so also yay for that there was part of a tire on mthe raod like a truck blew one it was jsut sitting in the middle of the highway i codulnt get out of the way completely so i hit like the end on it not much cause my tires are ok nuttin happened to my car so yay for that. but yeah i got to the phone place the parking lot isnt big but i parked in the last spot i could. i told them about my phone how i was up there last week and they updated the software but it still was shutting off and everything and the guy was like really im just gonna give u a new phone. so yay new phone its the same one i had the envy touch but just new so hopefully it wont keep doing what it was. i guess i looked tired or sick or nething cause the guy told me to sit down while he got me the new one tranfered my numbers over and got my pics off so i did i kind zoned out for while ha but yeah. i had to buy a memory card though for he couldnt tranfer the pics over and u get 20 percen toff if u buy 2 things so i got a new clear plastiic cover for it so that was $35 totally but hey i got a new phone that hopefully wont b a pain in my ass. idk if he saw my pics im hoping he didnt idk if they can c them when they are tranfersing or not but if he did then he saw pics of food, thiinspo, my cousins, my scars and pics of fresh cuts(yes i take pics afteri self harm), and also pics of my in my outfits and my back and stomach and stuff so yeah he got an eye full then

so i had roughly 300 cals so far today

*choc chips-100 cals

*3 slices light 7 gran bread-130 cals

*apple-60 cals

*large unsweetneed iced tea from dunking donuts-10 cals

i think for dinner ima have the left over chicken from yestreday idk what to have with it either fruit or veggies or mayb i'll make some potates or rice it is knda a fuck it day. and i might have a cupcake or some ice cream later as well

ima relax the rest of the nite since its sat and the boy goes out so i will have life time off and i will read and looking for jobs and jsut relax prob will do some crunches though as well u know me i love those

tomm im prob going to get up around 8am to shower and get ready. i will b compfy prob my blue velor pants and a baggier tank or sweatshirt depeding on how cold it is tomm. then iwill go to work i dont acutally owrk but i want to tan so ima go in just to tan i dont get paid i just wanna tan again so i will tan prob talk to my coworker for awhile cause really once me and di get talking its hard to stop. then i got some other running around to do first stop is target i need some more falcored water and vitamins and more anitacids since i cant find mine i will prob roam around awhile see if i can find a cuteshirt or purse that isnt to much then i will check out the books and moves. then i will go to shoprite get my fruit and veggies an crackers that i want then to the other grocery store stop and shop to make my salad and either get a fruit bowl or some soup

tomm ima b using my credit cards cause i dont have ne cash at all then im not going to use them forwhile cause fuck all of them are so high. ima try and save some extra money form this check as well cause i really wanna go to barnes and nobles at the ned of the money the new hunger games book "mocking jay" comes out so i need that and then i wanna try and get the pretty little liars series i rly want to read those i love the show so much

so heres the new plan for sunday well roughly
ima try and cut out as much dairy as i can i know its going to b hard as hell ibut ima try
and i relaly dont wanna eat meat nemore the only kind i really eat is chiken and turkey so im not going to eat it during the week and only eat it on fridays if the boy makes me. if the places we go to has veggie burgers then i will get that but sometiems he doestn let me ro seomtimes the places dont have that and i will have to get grilled chicken


  1. when i cut i take pics after as well. it seems kinda twisted but i dunno, i just do. (well, now i look at them as a way to prevent myself from doing it) but its just like food. i dont get why i take pics of food even if i dont like eating it...

    i dont really care for red meat too much though i eat it once in a while. i prefer chicken or fish., red meat smells bad and i feel bad for the poor animals :( fish dont feel pain so its not so bad and it my reason for being ok eating chicken sounds cruel of me but chicken reeally arrent that smart >.<

    im going to get that book! =)

  2. so we are teh same in that sense i also take pics wheni cut i just like to to know i have to u know i do delete them eventaully but i try to save them. but for me looking at them makes me want to cut more weird

    i wont eat red meat at all and i hate fish im very picky when it comes to food and that has nuttin to do with my ed or mayb it has everything to do with it who knows