Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1/26/11

y o y am i such a fat ass disguisting motherfucking cow like y y cant i just b this tiny lil fragile breakable thing instead of a cow

my sotamch bulges out now i have an acutal bump i hate that bump i dont want that bump nemore
my thighs are huge like huge when did they get so huge like fuck did i miss something
my back fat is just getting worse and worse liek i can feel get getting worse and pilling on as i lay here
the space between my legs isnt big at all nemore it use to b a big space now its bacailly like nuttin
wehre are my ribs and myhib bones and my spine

i want all my bones out all of that i need them out visible out i need to c them to c that they are there
i gotta stop eating like a fucking ass pig im not a pig i dont wanna b a ppig i wanna b gtiny and breakable idc nemore if my chest hurts and my hearts go crazy i gotta get my eating done need to look amazing and great and tiny and perfect im trappe din this huge ass fat body and i hate it

the scale still said 106 this morning 106 fuckign 106 wtf is that i hate that fucking number its giving me nightmares

i hatemy life i hate me fat gross ugle self ugh

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mich- i get isck of snow cause its so cold and im already cold so the cold just makes it way wrose for me

undesirablenumber1- wait y ar eu worreid about me?

sarah-thanx hun

6 comments:

  1. i know how you feel hun - i'm like 60lbs heavier than you so imagine all those issues x100! i long for the day when i have a completely flat stomach *sigh*
    x

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  2. I just want to say that you are beautiful women. I'm going to say that to me, you look way too thin, but I don't know what it feels like to be you, nor do I know what you seen when you look in the mirror, so I will not judge. I will say that I've spent most of my life overweight, I mean overweight like 5'6, 200lbs, which is not healthy, so again, I will not judge. It made me really sad to read your post Dani because I wish there were something I, or someone could say to change your mind about the way you see yourself. I've learned and have to remind myself constantly that what I see in the mirror is not really me, but rather the way I imagine other see me when they look at me. So, I got rid of all of the full-length mirrors I once owned and now have none. I've learned to focus on the things that I like about my appearance, and believe that everyone must have, or can find, one thing they like about themself, I hope that you will find that too someday!! Be well.

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  3. Oh I'm sorry, luv--I know exactly how you feel! I'm carrying a food baby as well...

    But we did it once, and we can do it again--no more piggies. <3

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  4. 106 is still teeny tiny. Take a deep breath dear, I am sure you are still looking as lovely as ever. Whenever you post pictures of your outfit of the day, we are all admiring your tiny little legs. Have a better day today and stay out of the terrible snow!

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  5. Oh I just get worried when people self harm. That's how I ended up locked up and in my head it is just the worst thing and I don't wish it upon anyone else so when you say that it makes me sad.

    I would pay anyone a million dollars to make me 106. It's still a small number...it could be 116. then what would happen. So just calm down and take stalk of your eating. it'll be alright.

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  6. I wish I was 106 im 111. I don;t know how you did it I wish I was as strong as you.

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