Wednesday, October 20, 2010


i had every intention of going to the gym today and just walking on the treadmill reading my book for like 2 hours but yeah that didnt work out as ihad planned.

i woke up and as soon as i moved got chest pains lovely i just love those so fucking much u have no idea ugh its always something with me. so yeah the chest pains werent fun and it took awhle for them to completely go away.

o and yeah i threw up the morning lovely i knew yesterday was too good to b true of course. it was my own fault this morning i had a few of my moms cookies she made i prob wouldnt of thrown up if i didnt eat those but i did. and the bad thing was they got stuck in my throat when they were coming up so i had to help it come up. so im guessing it was a half purge idk what to call it. i swear my knuckles are never gonna heal this way they are getting worse and u can clearly c how discolored they are from the other ones.

i relaxed for awhile and just read then had some lunch which i actually managed to keep down it hurt my stomach but it stayed in and it didnt come back up.

i was feeling better so i decided to go for a long walk i bought some change withme just in case u know i needed to get soemthing well good thing that i did. i got really dizzy like 3 times on my walk like so dizzy i had to stop andjust stand there to make sure i was gonna b ok. im really fucking up my electrolytes with this throwing up and if i coudl stop it i would but i cant its my bodies doing not me. but at the first dizzy spell i was standing waiting to cross the street and there wa sa telephone pole so i just leaned against that til i could cross. i went int ot he store and bought a 32 fl oz bottle of powerade zero mixed berry. i took a sip of it and it did help a lil. only bad thing was i had to talk and carry the damn thing. i walked around town for a whle and endedup at the park. yay for swings i love to sing :) i swang for about 15 minutes got off and almost feel over dizzy spell number 2 i just stood there til i was ok an di continued my walk. i decided at that point it was time for me to go home so i started walking i had one other lile dizzy spell but i was ok. i had a few chest pains as well but nuttin that im not use too.

i managed to apply to some jobs today everytime i look its the same thing over and over and most of them i applied to already but i found 4 of them at that i didnt so i applied to those. one was recepontist work another was accoutning work and then the other 2 were for retail work. one was at gnc that would b nice discount on diet pills :) and the other was a lil kids clothing store.

i made my safe, inbetween, and unsafe lists well started them at lease. i glues white lined paper on bright construstion paper. safe is bright pink, inbetween is blue and unsafe is yellow. i have the unsafe list becasue there are foods that hurt my stomach and make my acid reflux act up a lil but ti doesnt make me throw up. the unsafe list is the food that makes me throw up an dof course u know what the safe list is. so those are started and i will keep adding to them as the time goes on.

also started my recipe book. its just a notebookt aht i found that ima write my recipes in so far there is only 2 ha. i got my tomato salsa soup. and this new soup that i foudn today moms gonna buy me th eingredients on friday for i can amke it but its carrot and red pepper soup it sounds yummy

food log
breakfast(this was thrown up stupid body)
*5 ouonces mango
*3 choc chip cookies
*huge mug of black chai tea

now let me tell u mango coming back up hurts and it burns just a warning

*cup tomato salsa soup-57

having the soup wasnt the best idea it burned my throat like crazy

*jelly beans

*keebler club crackers-not sure how maany i had
*can white alabacore tuna-120

drinks(that i acutally kept down)
*huge mugh green tea with progrante
*liter of water
*32 fl oz powerade zero mixed berry

*9,584 steps taken- 296 cals burned

idk if ima try and go to gym tomm or just go for another walk it depends on how i feel in the morning

mich- i show now what u mean i explain it to my grandfather everytime i c him and its like fuck how many times do i have to say it. damn ur mom but i know how u feel about the grease grease gets me too but im a sucker for garlic i can acutally eat that i put garlic powder on everything

rozy- i know i just wanna stop eating for i can stop throwing up and feeling shitty like fuck

skinny_el-its was a very nice campus smaller then normal but still very nice
and i love that soup i can keep it down but it makes my acid reflux flare up but at least it stays down an dit was a great epi last ntie wasnt it


  1. sounds to me that ur intake was good especially with your amount of exersize, you gorgeous thing!!
    sorry aout the vom- but at least thats a way of getting rid of some weight eh?
    stay positive :D

  2. Poor thing! I feel so bad for you. Text me if you need to. Try the oatmeal and let me know how that goes.

  3. Ugh rough day; hope you're feeling better now. Do tums ever help your stomach? I live on those things...

    Recipe book sounds exciting. :D I'm trying to put one together--it's got a few recipes in it, but all the ones I make really well are memorized, and I never bothered to write them down...

    Yeah, no addresses in that part of Ireland, but they have house numbers and things in the more populated areas. Big difference from New Jersey. Idk what mum was thinking moving us here. :/

  4. Hate those dizzy feelings, I'm feeling the same spells everyday this week. Stay srong hun and take your supplements, they help a bit!

  5. ugh dizzy spells are the worst! good idea to bring some money with you just in case. if you do go exercising tomorrow i hope you pack something to drink and a granola bar or something as back up! i don't want you passing out and getting hurt or anything!

    hope you feel better tomorrow!

  6. i have been following your blog for a long time now - started on DP, but i don't get on there as much and this is more convenient :)

    anyway - i hate that you have tummy troubles and chest awful :(

    you have an amazingly beautiful body and hope one day you feel the same about it.

    you are lucky, too, to have a wonderful bf.

    take care! love reading your blog!!!

  7. im sorry you've been feeling ill. thats sucha bummer, especially since you were planning on exercising. but you still went walking. good dedication, keep it up! dizzy spells are thee absolute worse. just try to breathe slow and steady and drink water, maybe some gatorade for the electrolytes, if you can stomach it :(. hope you feel better love, we're all here for you :)