10/20/10

i had every intention of going to the gym today and just walking on the treadmill reading my book for like 2 hours but yeah that didnt work out as ihad planned.

i woke up and as soon as i moved got chest pains lovely i just love those so fucking much u have no idea ugh its always something with me. so yeah the chest pains werent fun and it took awhle for them to completely go away.

o and yeah i threw up the morning lovely i knew yesterday was too good to b true of course. it was my own fault this morning i had a few of my moms cookies she made i prob wouldnt of thrown up if i didnt eat those but i did. and the bad thing was they got stuck in my throat when they were coming up so i had to help it come up. so im guessing it was a half purge idk what to call it. i swear my knuckles are never gonna heal this way they are getting worse and u can clearly c how discolored they are from the other ones.

i relaxed for awhile and just read then had some lunch which i actually managed to keep down it hurt my stomach but it stayed in and it didnt come back up.

i was feeling better so i decided to go for a long walk i bought some change withme just in case u know i needed to get soemthing well good thing that i did. i got really dizzy like 3 times on my walk like so dizzy i had to stop andjust stand there to make sure i was gonna b ok. im really fucking up my electrolytes with this throwing up and if i coudl stop it i would but i cant its my bodies doing not me. but at the first dizzy spell i was standing waiting to cross the street and there wa sa telephone pole so i just leaned against that til i could cross. i went int ot he store and bought a 32 fl oz bottle of powerade zero mixed berry. i took a sip of it and it did help a lil. only bad thing was i had to talk and carry the damn thing. i walked around town for a whle and endedup at the park. yay for swings i love to sing :) i swang for about 15 minutes got off and almost feel over dizzy spell number 2 i just stood there til i was ok an di continued my walk. i decided at that point it was time for me to go home so i started walking i had one other lile dizzy spell but i was ok. i had a few chest pains as well but nuttin that im not use too.

i managed to apply to some jobs today everytime i look its the same thing over and over and most of them i applied to already but i found 4 of them at that i didnt so i applied to those. one was recepontist work another was accoutning work and then the other 2 were for retail work. one was at gnc that would b nice discount on diet pills :) and the other was a lil kids clothing store.

i made my safe, inbetween, and unsafe lists well started them at lease. i glues white lined paper on bright construstion paper. safe is bright pink, inbetween is blue and unsafe is yellow. i have the unsafe list becasue there are foods that hurt my stomach and make my acid reflux act up a lil but ti doesnt make me throw up. the unsafe list is the food that makes me throw up an dof course u know what the safe list is. so those are started and i will keep adding to them as the time goes on.

also started my recipe book. its just a notebookt aht i found that ima write my recipes in so far there is only 2 ha. i got my tomato salsa soup. and this new soup that i foudn today moms gonna buy me th eingredients on friday for i can amke it but its carrot and red pepper soup it sounds yummy

food log
breakfast(this was thrown up stupid body)
*5 ouonces mango
*3 choc chip cookies
*huge mug of black chai tea

now let me tell u mango coming back up hurts and it burns just a warning

lunch
*cup tomato salsa soup-57
*apple-60

having the soup wasnt the best idea it burned my throat like crazy

snack
*jelly beans

dinner
*keebler club crackers-not sure how maany i had
*can white alabacore tuna-120

drinks(that i acutally kept down)
*huge mugh green tea with progrante
*liter of water
*32 fl oz powerade zero mixed berry

exercise
*9,584 steps taken- 296 cals burned

idk if ima try and go to gym tomm or just go for another walk it depends on how i feel in the morning

mich- i show now what u mean i explain it to my grandfather everytime i c him and its like fuck how many times do i have to say it. damn ur mom but i know how u feel about the grease grease gets me too but im a sucker for garlic i can acutally eat that i put garlic powder on everything

rozy- i know i just wanna stop eating for i can stop throwing up and feeling shitty like fuck

skinny_el-its was a very nice campus smaller then normal but still very nice
and i love that soup i can keep it down but it makes my acid reflux flare up but at least it stays down an dit was a great epi last ntie wasnt it