9/19/10

so app i fucke dmy body up alot more then i thought lately yup ima mess we all know it an dima keep being amess and my body is going t keep hating me for it but hey there is nuttin that i can do about it i am whoi am andi cant change that not on my own at least

well my period is just all fucked up like extremely its ugh idk what to think nemore its not like im insanely underweight an dim on the pill so it still should b coming ive been on the pill since i was 18 and i never had aproblem til about a year agaon when i relpased again now my period goes form being normal so being semi nomral to being completley fucked up

so it always came on a wed lately its being come on thursday which was fine wit me one day later so it was shorter not aproblem cause it was sitll smei normal yeah but these past couple months not at all not even close

so this month well now i was suppose to have it last week and it was suppose to go away on monday well it came like halfway thru thursday and my cramps were so so bad they hurt and they kept me upt bu tmy period wasnt heavy at all it wasnt like extermely light either but it was heavy like it aways is on the first day well i had it fomr thursday afternoon till about 7pm friday. well then it went away i i caheck it again 7am sat so i had a tampon in from 7pm friday til 7am sat and nuttin nuttin at all it completely stopped i put one back in neway and when i chekced it as 6pm that nite it was ligth like extermely light like on a few spots on it so yeah i check it again this smoring around 7am when i got up and absolutly nuttin again it stopped i havent check it since so idk if its here lightley or if is just stopped completely

sorry it that was to much info but yeah so app ifucked myself up so bad that my period doesnt even know what to do with it self nemore.

i am so so sore from my crazy workout yesterday my legs hate me so much and my back spasms arent fund of me either but hey the workout was so worth it i'll deal with the soreness. cahirs are a bitch though tye hurt the most but o well i just wont go downstairs much then. i prob shodlnt of went to the gym again today buti m a glutton for punishment and i did o well i need my exercise.

after the gym today i did my erranda lots of running around i went to the grocery store then to target and then i stopped and put gas in my car needless to say i only have $2 left in my wallet an di had to use a credit card to just put gas in said car.
but i got

at shoprite(grocery store)
*3 pears
*strawberries
*romaine heart lettuce
*1 cucumber
*animal crackers
*teddy grahams
*premade veggie salad
*cantaloupe
*sweet bell peppers
*ghiradelly hot choc-choc mocha(yes i can have it its vegan they make it with soy instead of milk)

target
*3 skinny water sports 0
*gum
*25th anniversay eddition of elle(lauren conrad is on the cover)

when i got home i cut up my cantaloupe and my strawberries and put them in containers i snacked alil on them while i was cutting them ijust coudlnt help myself i love fruit

then i sat on my bed with my lil food scale and my snack baggies and weighed out my animal crackers and teddy grahams i made lil snack bags 1 serving each i wrote the cals right on the baggies for i know exaclty what i was eating i know im crazy but u all love me neway :)

idk how ima spend the rest o fmy day i willporb look at jobs for a lil and i really wanna read more of "wicked" sara shepard so mayb i will run i place later while i read that and prob some crunches as well my abs need some major work

food log so far

breakfast
*dry bran flakes
*apple

lunch
*1 tomato
*1strawberry
*few bits of cantaloupe
*apple

snack
*few teddy grahamas and animal crackers(snacked a lil while i was making my baggies up)

drinks
*liter and half of water

exercise
*65 min elly level 6 manual no hill- 464 cals burned
*4,026 steps taken-107 cals burned


so i figured i would answer ur comments and stuff here since u guys are more then likey to c it:

ash - thanx hun and yeah it was scary but i promise that im ok

love2laff - nope no docs for me i dont like tham and yea ive had an eating disorder or disordered eating my hole life i have never been normal but what i woiuld do for cheering i would nomraly eat a lil lunch and then have a snack rigth b4 pracitce the snack was usually sometihng choc cause i neede a sugar kick to make it thru the hard practice but i knew i woiuld b burning it off neway so it all worked out i never wenthigher then 105 in high school

sarah - u dont have to worry about me hun im fine i promise

mich - idk y t always happens in the middle of the nite i think its just cause the body wants to throw one more nasty kick at ya and just wake u up cause god forbid u acutally sleep ugh and yeah no docs for me i hate them as well i hate hate them i only go once a year for my cholestrol or if im like practiaclly on my death bed and im the same way i hate the docs but im always telling other ppl to go we dont have a houllihans by me so i have no idea what that place is but yay for us for being abel to eat at tgifridays now :)

and thank u all for ur lovely commenst u guys relaly are the best