Monday, September 27, 2010

fuck me

fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck
yup im fucked if u havent gotten that from above
and i guess i should apologize for my language now if u dont like the word fuck o well cause its gonna b said alot in this post so either deal or dont read and yes i can b a bitch it happens

so the state of new jersey are fucking ass fuck assholes and i wanna fucking yell at them all its like if ur not a damn scumbag u cant get nething in this fucking state like wtf do i have to do to get what i fucking deserve b a scum live off of food stamps not work ever just sit around and fucking do nuttin all day well fuck me thats not me and that will never ever fucking b me

since u are all prob wondering y im giong off on this fuck tangent right now its cause i got a letter today from the state about my unemplyment benefits and if u havent noticed already it wasnt fucking good.

they fucking disqualified me they said that i left my job voluntarilay since the unifrom requirements were in my control which means sicne i had the option to buy them and didnt i knew that i was gonna quit my job so everything was in my control

well assfuck of the state it wasnt in my fucking control my damn hours were cut i didnt have the money to spend on clothes i think my bills are more fucking important u knmw the bran new car that i saved up 4ever to buy that is taking me broke yeah that had to get paid and my insurance for said car and then i do have payments to make on my credit cards that are high enough as it fucking is cause my job didnt pay me enough like fuck how do they not understand that bills are more importan

im not made of fucking money u assholes i work hard i go to work everday(well when ih ad a job) i did my job plus everyone others i worked my ass off and this is how they fucking repay me yeah thanx for that assholes

so as u can c my life is fucking falling aprt i need at least $510 for my october bills and i only have about $40 so idk what ima do i was considering selling stuff on ebay but they fucking charge u a posting fee and then they get a percantage of ur sale so yeah thats not gonna happen

so i deicded to apply for retail jobs which i have a shit load of experince in ive been wokring in retail since i was 18 im 24 now so needless to say im an expert in retail.
so i applied to 3 differnt jobs at toys r us and a seasonal job at the crayola factory
well i just checked my email
and all 3 toys r us jobs said that they reviewed everything and said that they regret to inform me but they are going to persue other candiates
like wtf who the fuck do i not qualify for that wtf do i have to do i cant even get a job in retail the target job i applied to a few days ago yeah i didnt fucking get that either
i didnt even get a interview they just saw my application and said no
like wtf what is so fucking wrong with me that now1 wants to fucking hire me am i that much of a bad person that im not good enough for them

so fucking hell i am freaking out now and idk what to do and everything is just falling apart i finally got things figured out i wwas eating on a scheudle under 800 cals a day i was working it all off i was content i had a good routine down with everything now everything is just ripped out from underneath me ugh fuck my life fuck new jersey just fuck everything cause of course nuttin can ever go good for me or right cause im that much of a bad person fuck

food log so far

*mini pretzels-100
*green beans-90

*liter of water
*2 cups hot tea(orange and peppermint)
*skinny water sport 0

*65 min elly random hill workout level 10- 443 cals burned

well im off to apply to more jobs and get rejected im thinking that the razor has a good chance of coming out tonite i need a release the numbness ineed my head to cut up i need to c the blood it will calm me


  1. Utah sucks ass too.. No one will hire you unless they know you're mormon, or you just look like you are.

    The economy sucks right now.. =/

    I'm sorry, hun. It'll get better, though

  2. Awe hun I hope that something manages to pull through for you.

  3. times is hard :-* I'm sure you'll get hired soon though! And thank you for believing in me. It has inspired me the most out of everything <3

  4. greaat job food wise, i need to get back on track myself and things will eventually get better every life has ups and downs uk

  5. Breathe breathe breathe. It's okay to be angry. The system often makes me angry. But you have to be realistic and know that things are the way they are. You are making a step in the right direction by applying for another job. Good luck with that! And good job on the workout. Working out usually makes me feel a little better about all the crap in life.

  6. Omg that stinks, what bastards!!! New Jersey sucks major b@lls. When I tried going for unemployment a few years ago, they denied me and basically told me I was too poor. :/

    You should try ebay - they really don't charge you that much. I've made kinda a lot of money selling stuff, and I'd be glad to give you pointers or help you out!

    Hang in there, luv! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  7. i am sorry about your troubles. thank you so much for being such a great friend. i am here for you whenever you need me. xx